


Split Infinities

by emryskynobi



Category: Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-13
Updated: 2014-05-03
Packaged: 2017-12-23 08:42:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 36,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/924250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emryskynobi/pseuds/emryskynobi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A different path was chosen after Anakin had his dream in "RotS". Not letting it stew in his mind, he took his problem straight to Obi-Wan and asked for help.</p><p>Epilogue -</p><p>Scooping up the little rapscallions into his arms, he embraced the both of them.  “And what has Master Obi-Wan told you about running towards a still moving ship?”  Though he tried to be stern, he couldn’t help the small smile that crossed his face as he scolded them.  Both at the twin looks of embarrassment on their faces – and at the thought of his bond mate.</p><p>His bond mate.</p><p>The words thrilled him and never failed to take his breath away.  Once he had signed the divorce papers – with some regret for he did love Padmé – he had taken some time for himself, to think about what he truly wanted.</p><p>It didn’t change after a year away from Obi-Wan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I Have to Talk to You

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. George Lucas owns it all.  
> Pairing: implied A/O. P/A.  
> Genre: Alternate Universe. Angst. Fix-it.  
> Warnings: Possible OOCness but nothing to bad. I hope.  
> Not really a fan of Padmé and Anakin's relationship. It just never rang true with me the way that a relationship between Obi-Wan and Anakin does.

* * *

 

 

Anakin lurched upright in bed, gasping, staring blindly into the alien darkness. The visions in his head would not leave. Visions of Padmé, screaming for him. Crying, begging - pleading for his forgiveness, _for his love_...they pained him and he buried his head in his hands for a moment before tossing aside the sweat soaked covers and rising.

There was something he needed to do - and it would not wait. Not any longer - it had been to long as it was.

Padmé woke up when she felt him leave the bed. Opening her eyes slightly, she saw Anakin throw on his robe and leave, almost blindly running from the bedroom, as though demons were chasing after him. Getting up, she followed him and looked out the balcony door, worried when he left the building and headed for the Jedi Temple.

For just a moment, she thought about staying behind and waiting for him to come back and tell her what was going on. Shaking her head at the thought of inaction, she slipped on his dark robe. Keeping the hood up to cover her face, she silently followed him.

Anakin opened the door to Obi-Wan's door, sensing his calming presence within the room.

His guilt at what he was about to do fled as the peace enveloped him within loving arms. The door closed half-way behind him and he went straight into Obi-Wan's room, pausing for a moment to study the sleeping Master. An aura of more than mere exhaustion exuded from him as he slept. The lines that he'd acquired over the years had softened, revealing the face of a much younger man.

Again, a slight twinge of guilt hit him and was just as quickly discounted. Obi-Wan often encouraged him to seek him out when things troubled him. This dream hung heavily in his mind, poisoning his perception and he needed that clear and steady hand to help him through this whole thing. And he was tired of keeping things from his friend, it exhausted him and hurt him in ways that he could not even _begin_ to understand.

Obi-Wan wouldn't mind being woken up. The young Jedi hoped. Walking over to the bed, he sat down and softly called, "Master?" Reaching out with one hand, he gently shook him until there was movement. Sitting up, he waited.

Obi-Wan rolled over, his sleepy greenish blue gray eyes opening half-way. His hand rose to cover a yawn as he focused his attention on Anakin. Studying his former apprentice for a moment, he said, quite calmly. "How odd. I'm being visited in the middle of the night by a half naked Anakin, looking deliciously tousled and oh so delectable. I must be dreaming."

With that, he began to roll over, pulling up the covers as he did so. When they didn't budge, he irritably said. "Anakin, would you mind moving? As we are on Coruscant, this behavior is hardly appropriate."

"So, it would be appropriate if we were elsewhere?" Anakin asked, momentarily forgetting why he had come. The words his Master spoke, in _that_ tone of voice, were doing wonders for his mind - _and that's not all it was doing_ , he thought as he relaxed into the moment. A new thought was winding its traitorous way through his mind and he couldn't help but smile lasciviously. It was a fond dream he'd had on many a night after his Master had started to thaw towards him - and he'd stopped being a rebellious, know it all brat. "I shall have to keep that in mind when we're on one of those oh, so cold planets."

"Hardly," he repressively said. "And, since I am dreaming you here, would you mind not being as difficult as you are in life?"

He sobered up quickly at the second reference to dreams. "Master, please, don't go back to sleep. This isn't a dream. I _have_ to talk to you."

"Is Coruscant burning?"

"Well, no more than before."

"Has General Grievous surrendered?"

"I don't think so."

"Is it something that I can fix at the moment?"

Anakin's head shook as his Master glared at him.

"Then shut up and get under the covers."

"But..."

"Anakin, my head hurts from crashing into the wall earlier. I have a class to teach in two hours. I have to lead a discussion about the sieges along the Outer Rim - with you, if I may be so bold as to remind you of that fact. There are various other meetings I must attend to this day - and that is not including the three hour session of the Jedi Council. If I cannot do anything about your problem right now, I would prefer not to. You know that my door is always open to you - _always_ ," he emphasized. "That will not change. _Ever_. But, at this precise moment, I cannot help you. Get under the covers and go to sleep. We shall talk in the morning."

Of course, he realized that he was being a bit of a snit to Anakin about this, that he should react with Jedi patience and wisdom. That he should find out what was troubling his friend so much that he would seek him out when it had been so many years since he had done so.

But in that moment, he just didn't care. He _hurt_ and was too tired to do so.

"Yes, Master." Anakin picked up the covers and quickly slid under them. His arm slowly, tentatively finding its way about his Master and pulling him in closer, remembering the comfort of this same embrace from when he was younger - only then it had been Obi-Wan who had held him so cautiously, as though he had been afraid Anakin would shatter under his touch. It had been both refuge and home to him during those difficult first days of transition.

With his Master in his arms, allowing him to cuddle him close as he had not been able to do so in years, he found sleep quickly. No dreams disturbed him, they never found purchase when he was here, with Obi-Wan, like this.

Padmé shut the door behind her quietly. She walked down the hall, half stunned, half angry by what she heard.

By what she had seen.

She wanted to run back in there and demand to just know what they thought they were doing - even though she could plainly see how platonic and comforting the embrace was. She wanted to scream at Anakin for betraying her. For betraying their vows, for hurting their child and the future they were supposed to have together.

Her fists clenched with the desire to punch Obi-Wan, to make him bleed for taking Anakin from her, for giving him what she knew now she could not. What she never could, no matter how hard she tried or how deeply she loved him. There were just some thing that she could not do, could never understand.

It hurt, twisting deeply inside of her to think back at her husband's face. His handsome, _peaceful_ , and, for once, totally at home in his own skin, face. For looking so contented, so right lying in his arms, it was almost like her heart was being ripped from her chest to think about it. She _ached_ to be the one Anakin had curled around so trustingly, had released his burdens and cares to.

In the end, she did nothing for how could she?

Obi-Wan was a part of Anakin.

And she loved Anakin, so she would ignore whatever it was he had with Obi-Wan.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fallout of Anakin crashing at Obi-Wan's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Probably should've mentioned this already but I ignore anything that happens in the new Clone Wars series. Partly because what they show doesn't really make sense in light of established canon but mostly b/c I can't get into it. Also, I prefer the Clone Wars cartoon that Cartoon Network did. I think it works much better.

* * *

 

Anakin awoke slowly the next morning, confused as to where he was. Memory returned with sharp clarity and he groaned in embarrassment over his actions in running to his Master with his fears, burrowing further into the covers that were still warm from Obi-Wan's body. He was supposed to be a Jedi Knight, not a child.

And yet…there was nothing that he'd rather do than run to Obi-Wan whenever things got too much for him to handle. It was just the correct thing for him to do. The only thing that felt truly right for him.

Still, he was ashamed of his actions and hid away from them.

And then…something changed in the atmosphere of Obi-Wan's quarters. A wonderful, delicious something. He delightedly realized that he could smell breakfast cooking - his favorite breakfast at that. With his nose twitching in anticipation, there was still great reluctance in him as he opened his eyes to the dim light in the room. His Master _had_ always preferred to keep his shades as low as they'd go, making Anakin's own transition from night to day a trifle easier.

Pushing back the covers, he rose to greet the day he had just been wishing to hide away from.

Yawning widely, he switched his robe for the one hanging up in the fresher and walked out, seeing Obi-Wan in the kitchen, putting the finishing touches on breakfast. "Morning, Anakin," he quietly greeted him, walking around the counter to place the dishes on the table.

"Morning, Master," his reply was equally quiet, though there was nothing more than a slight hint of embarrassment in his voice.

"Sit down and have something to eat, you're making me nervous."

"No one would ever know it, Master." Nevertheless, he sat down and helped himself. "When did you start to eat breakfast? I thought it made you ill."

"It does. But Master Unduli has me on some medication for my sore head. Apparently, she doesn't believe that it is merely a minor injury."

"Does that surprise you considering that you called that two by four of metal that shattered your shoulder a small splinter?"

"It wasn't as bad as that, Anakin," he replied, shuddering a little at the memory.

"As bad? Master, if I hadn't insisted - and then carried your unconscious form into the infirmary - your arm would have been permanently damaged!" he argued, letting out an exasperated breath.

Obi-Wan waved it off, as though it was of no consequence. Which to him, it was not. "You make to much of it, my friend. If not for Master Fisto's timely arrival, our negotiations would have fallen through and many of those on Ukio would now be enslaved."

"And you too little!" he shot back, stung by the flippant ill regard Obi-Wan had to his own health. This attitude he had always stung-now more than ever. With dreams of Padmé dying haunting him, he didn't think he could handle it if something happened to his Master because of his stubbornness in clinging to a selfless attitude when it came to taking care of himself. Of course, Anakin admired Obi-Wan's Jedi dedication, but sometimes that dedication crossed the line into something he personally thought of as an insane amount of prideful humility. If one could be proud of an inability to care about what happened to themselves. "Does it ever occur to you, Master, that your health needs to come first at least _some_ of the time?"

"Of course not, Anakin. We are servants of the Republic and must do whatever it takes to be of service to them."

"But not by being negligently mindful of your health," Anakin finished, knowing that Obi-Wan wouldn't be able to argue with that point. It was the only thing he could ever say to get Obi-Wan to even _consider_ going to see the Healers.

Sighing, he yielded. "All right, Anakin, you've made your point."

"Have I? Really?" he asked, doubtfully. Then his eyes twinkled, "So, you'll take better care of yourself on missions and go see a healer whenever you get an injury?"

"I didn't say that," he said, face hidden momentarily in shadow as he leaned forward to pick up a piece of toast. Chewing on it momentarily, he cleared his throat, "Anakin, not that I mind you being here because I do not for I have grown rather accustomed to having you around, but why are you here?"

Silence reigned momentarily. Anakin picked at his food for a moment, unable to look over at Obi-Wan as he said the damning words. "Padmé's pregnant."

"I see," he quietly said, putting the toast down. Suddenly, he was even less hungry than he had been - and since he hadn't been hungry in the first place, that probably didn't mean anything.

"There's more."

"More?" Obi-Wan repeated, mind struggling to take in this already rather stunning news. A suspicion formed in his mind and he drew in a deep breath, pleading with the Force for help in retaining control over himself as he processed this revelation - and the meaning behind it. And what it meant, not only to him, but to his friend as well. Calmed, he asked, "Anakin, is the baby yours?"

"Yes."

"I see," he said again, not knowing what else to say. His hands dropped into his lap where his fingers restlessly twitched, unable to be still for even a moment. "And what do you intend to do about it?"

"Wait, before you say anything else, Master. There's something else you should know about the situation between me and Padmé." He bit his lip, sucking a little on the blood that rushed quickly to heal the wound. Suddenly, the food seemed a great deal less appealing than it had before. He idly traced patterns on the smooth, brown surface of the table.

Obi-Wan pinched the bridge of his nose and slowly let out the breath he'd been holding. This was not something he wished to hear, he knew that it was something he did not want to know about at all. Deep inside, he was aware of a voice screaming at him to silence Anakin, to not let him speak. But he could not ignore his friend's pain.

Composed once again, he looked at Anakin, "All right. What else?"

Pushing the plate aside, Anakin rose and walked to the window, staring out at the morning sky. "I married her after Geonosis."

"You did?" It sounded like a question - but it was anything but one.

"Yes," Anakin answered it anyway. "And…I dreamed that she was dying."

"Dying," Obi-Wan stated, rising to join him.

"Yes," he whispered, unable to meet his eyes even in the reflection of the window. "In childbirth, in a great deal of pain."

"Anakin, you do realize that women have not died giving birth to a child in years." He winced at the slightly condescending sound of his words but could do nothing about it now that they had been spoken. Nothing except hope that Anakin could read what wasn't being said by him - as he always did.

"Yes, Master. But I know what I saw in my dream. What I felt - and it was not just the normal pangs of a woman giving birth. It was the feel of death - I've known death to much over the past few years to mistake it for anything else." Then, before he could contain them, he bitterly spat out at him.

"I also know that Tusken Raiders have been ravaging moisture farms for years - but they chose to take my mom and kill her - just like I dreamed. I dreamed it and it happened. They tortured her and they killed her, Master. The dream did not pass away, it did not fade away like you said it would. It came true. I can't let the same thing happen to my own wife!" For a moment, his anger at his Master for refusing to let him go held sway over him and he let it out, tearing into his friend cruelly.

"Why are you telling me this?" Obi-Wan asked, arms wrapped tightly about himself, trying to ward off the blows of bitter disappointment at these words of recrimination, of anger towards him. But it was more than that. The fierce blows of a soul deep friendship that seemed to be falling to pieces in the face of this deception of Anakin's hit him, clawing into his soul and refusing to leave easily. Struggling to push his own selfish needs out of it, he focused on his suffering beloved.

"Because you are my friend and I thought that, for once, you could set aside your Jedi principles and help me," he said, adding bitterly. "I thought wrong."

Disappointment weighed heavily in his words and he turned away, not wanting to be in the room he loved with the one he felt most at home with any longer. He couldn't help but feel as though he'd been judged and rejected by Obi-Wan. All he wanted to do now was escape from this room that had been his sanctuary, his refuge from the troubles that raged outside the doors.

He felt trapped, encased in a small place of safety and security, frightened by what lay beyond that tiny room. That tiny room that represented all he knew and beyond it was the great unknown. It was a place he didn't want to step out into.

And yet, he had to do it if Obi-Wan rejected him in truth.

"Anakin," he quietly replied, his voice stopping Anakin. "I have not decided against helping you-nor will I. You have come to me, trusting me with a very painful secret, and I shall do whatever it takes to help you."

He held up a hand to silence Anakin, knowing that he wished to speak but he was not finished just yet. "But you must know that you can no longer be both a Jedi and a married man. Your child needs to have a full time parent for you and I know that Senator Amidala will not give up her career in the Senate. Nor is it right that this child have a father who is away in the midst of a bloody, horrific war in which there is doubt that you will return. It is not right that your child live with the constant uncertainty of these thoughts. It was not fair of you to place that kind of strain upon Senator Amidala. But Padmé is a consenting adult and made this decision on her own. Your child is not. By trying to live in both worlds, be a Jedi and a husband…I cannot even describe how appalling I find it that you would be so self-centered. The actions of the both of you in this have been extremely selfish, neither of you have given one thought to what these actions would do to those you care for - and to yourselves."

It was painful to hear the words Obi-Wan spoke, Anakin wished to reject them. They hurt him deeply, making him angry at the truthfulness of them. They twisted inside him, cutting off his ability to breath, preventing him from screaming his rage and hurt out at him. Preventing him from raging against the unfairness of his speech, how he could not truly judge Anakin's actions and decisions for he did not know Anakin's mind.

Yet, he could not do anything of the kind for they were spoken out of love and concern for him. He could feel it living in the very air about them, coursing about them, quietly caressing his fevered heart and mind - and still, he wished for more from Obi-Wan.

Far more than a mere whispered touch, a quiet word that said so much in silence.

With that desire burning inside his chest, punishing him in its flame, he couldn't stop his questions from coming, wanting to do, wanting to _say_ so much more. "And what of us? What of our partnership? The war effort? You need me, Master. You know you do."

"But your child needs you more, Anakin. While I will miss you, I could not live with myself if I kept you from your child." There was quiet finality in his voice as he said the words, knowing them for what they were. The end of their life together, their partnership. The end of the legendary team of Skywalker and Kenobi.

Anakin's head bowed, unable to face him once more.

Unable to stay still in the face of those words that were spoken, his hands clenched. He knew that they were truth. That they had to be spoken - and quite desperately wished that it was not so. That his Master would find a way to _**fix**_ this problem as he always did when faced with a seemingly insurmountable obstacle.

His Master was _Obi-Wan_ , the impossible was just a word to him - especially when they worked together. "Master, I can't do this alone."

"You will have Padmé by your side," he softly reminded him, all the while knowing that was not what his friend wanted to hear.

"But she is not you."

The words hung between them, haunting the space in their midst with painful clarity.

"Anakin," he began to protest the words, aghast that he had the audacity to speak them. He went silent when Anakin's hand rose.

"I know what you're going to say, Master. And you are completely right," he smiled sadly, recognizing the irony of his words. He rarely admitted that Obi-Wan was right about anything - at least, not to his face. "Padmé is my wife. I'm supposed to want to be with her, to have her help and guidance. But I can't feel that way, not anymore. This war has changed me, has made me see a very painful truth. The reality I want, the reality I need…it is with you. I love her but…"

"Those words had best remain silent and unspoken between us, Anakin," Obi-Wan quietly but firmly interrupted him, sorrow lacing his tones in shivering agony. "It can never be and so should not be spoken."

"Just because it isn't spoken doesn't mean that it isn't there, Master," he fiercely said, looking up at him at last. All the painful longings and desire - and pure, uncomplicated love shone in those azure eyes. They were veiled quickly, shuttered away from Obi-Wan's perception. "But, as always, you are correct. I will do as you ask and say no more - though I wish to speak with all that is within me."

The words were torn from him with a kind of brute strength finality. As much as he wished to live in denial, wished to ignore what now existed with Padmé, he couldn't. He could not for one obvious reason - the only real reason he did anything anymore.  The only reason he ever chose the harder path, the more moral path.

Obi-Wan.

Closing his eyes against the sight of his dejected former Padawan, Obi-Wan admitted quietly, heart breaking even as he did so. But in this, he knew that he had to offer Anakin as much honesty as his friend had granted him. "You have no idea how much I wish that it could be different. How I wish that I could say those words - that I could accept those words. But now we must focus on what is."

Turning away, he never saw Anakin reach out for him, grasping only empty air where he had been.

Clenching his empty fist tightly, he followed Obi-Wan over to the door. "What should I do?" he asked, controlling his vicious desire under the iron control he'd developed in order to keep the secrets that burned inside his heart from his Master so that he would never see what kind of person he'd become before the war and _because_ of it.

The kind of man who turned away from all that he'd been taught, not once in marriage, not twice where he'd slaughtered the Tuskens to avenge his mother's death but many times - and some of those times with less than noble intentions.

Still, it was a difficult fight against his instinctual reaction towards this man who was his everything - and more, if such a thing could exist.

To not reach out to Obi-Wan's encompassing embrace, to hide in his arms as he had as a child, wanting nothing more than for his Master to save him from everything that hounded him hurt worse than any punch ever would.

As a frightened young man when the phantom pain of his lost arm had overwhelmed him, he had sought Obi-Wan's strength. When the nightmares of what happened on Tatooine proved greater than his ability to ignore them, he ran to his Master, though not a word of what he had done there escaped his lips for he could not bear to be turned away.

It was all he could do to stop himself from begging with Obi-Wan to reconsider his choice.

But he was realistic enough to know that Obi-Wan was right. He could not stand forever divided between his obligations to the Jedi and his vows to Padmé.

For a moment, he hated his wife for being so inconsiderate as to get pregnant, hated his unborn child for taking Obi-Wan from him without doing anything more than existing. It fled quickly for he could not hate an innocent child. He could not hate his wife for what happened.  She had not been alone in the actions that had created their child and he loved her.  If anything, he was the guilty party for he continued to persue her even after she had given him valid reasons for not being together.

"Go to Senator Amidala, speak with her. She needs to know what you told me - needs to know that I know in case something happens to you. From there, the three of us will decide what must be done."

The matter of fact tone struck him and he couldn't stop it again. Couldn't stop the natural reaction he had to the tone of voice, his hand closed firmly over Obi-Wan's arm and held him in place, turning him to face him. "Master, I am sorry."

The sharp rap on the door cut off Obi-Wan's reply and he automatically broke away to answer it, smiling graciously at the young girl who stood there. Her shy brown eyes stared up at him, utterly awed for a moment and she could not speak in his presence.

Though slightly worried by the reaction his growing reputation seemed to garner him among even those of his order, he remained perfectly calm and in control. Obi-Wan encouraged her to speak gently, "Yes, Padawan?"

Finding her voice at last, she spoke in a hushed whisper, trembling. "The Jedi Council wishes to know if you know where Knight Skywalker is. A ship has arrived from the Chancellor, he wishes to see him as soon as he can be spared."

"The Chancellor?" Anakin repeated, shocked, coming to stand behind Obi-Wan. "Did they say what this was about?"

"No," she stammered, looking away, not expecting to see the famous Knight at all. While she had been nervous and shy about seeing the famous Master Kenobi, she knew he was a kind hearted man - everyone knew that.

But Anakin Skywalker was another matter entirely. Unless he was near his Master, there was always a hint of danger, of thrilling darkness to him. It was this hint of darkness that he carried with him that scared the Padawans of the Temple so that they avoided him when they felt him coming.

For all that he was a gentle man, Anakin frightened them.

"Master?" he asked, wondering if Obi-Wan had heard anything and just forgot to tell him. It had never happened in the past but with Obi-Wan's injuries…something could've been said and he had not remembered.

"I don't know, Anakin. I suppose you must go see him to find out," Obi-Wan replied, noting the dazed way the girl stared at them and sighed, internally. There was going to be some painful gossip going around the Temple tonight.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To any who read this on my ff.net profile, I changed Ziost to Ukio b/c I found out Ziost was a Sith death trap of a planet.
> 
> Padmé will get her say soon.


	3. This Chapter is rated P for Palpatine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No, seriously. It's got Palpatine in it. Although, he's more like Sidious.

* * *

 

Palpatine knew the moment Anakin entered his office that something had changed for the boy - something big. It was in his eyes and the way he stood off to the side, arms folded across his chest in a pose so similar to Obi-Wan's that it set the Chancellor's teeth on edge as he waited. Clearly, something had to be done about that dependence - and soon.

He would stand for no more interference by that particular annoyance any longer.

"Ah, my boy, so good of you to come," Palpatine welcomed him with a smile, sending away the few Senators and aides who had been with him.

"Chancellor," Anakin greeted, bowing respectfully. "I trust that all is well with you and that you have suffered no ill from your…adventure yesterday."

"I am well, thanks to you," he said.

"And Master Kenobi," Anakin quickly reminded him.

"Yes, of course," Palpatine waved it off. "General Grievous was most kind to me during the kidnapping - and I do wish that everyone would stop dancing about it. I was kidnapped and rescued, there is no need to act as though I've been traumatized."

"But you could have been," Anakin pointed out. "They only avoid the subject because they do not wish to bring up bad memories. They care about you."

"I suppose that is true. Now, the reason I called you here is because I need your help."

"Help?" he asked, intrigued despite himself. What could the Chancellor possibly need help with? Though he would do anything to help him, Anakin wasn't sure what there was that he _could_ do. He was only a lone Jedi Knight, albeit a very powerful one.

Palpatine took a moment to gather his words, speaking them carefully. "The Senate has put me in a rather precarious and delicate situation, Anakin. They elected to grant me full control of the Jedi Council just this morning. Please, don't think that I wished to have this thrust upon me. I feel that it is a misalignment of powers. The Jedi has always existed within it's own sphere of influence and understanding, slightly outside the boundary of the government. This is only right since they are not an actual part of the government process."

"I don't understand, sir. Wouldn't this state last only as long as the Civil War does? When the war is completed, then you would return the power of self-government back to the Council in full," Anakin pointed out.

"My boy, you have been on the outer rim for so long, you do not know what the situation has been like here. I'm afraid that the Jedi Council does not honor nor value my counsel or any words I may have to offer - which is only right since I am an outsider. That's why I need you to help me."

"You need my help, sir?"

"As I will have some say but do not know how the Jedi work, I have been giving this some thought. What I have decided is that I need someone who knows the mind of the Jedi but is not adverse to taking counsel from someone outside the Order. What I am asking, my boy, is that you become my personal representative on the Jedi Council. Surely, they will see wisdom in such a choice. You are by far the best Jedi they have, along with your wise Master," he was quick to add, knowing how Anakin felt about any slight towards Obi-Wan.

He, himself, didn't like it but he needed to remain in Anakin's good graces if his plan was to bear fruit. If it meant giving praise to the Jedi, then he would do so. "But as he already has a seat on the Council, I feel that you would be an appropriate choice. They would benefit from having _The Team_ sitting on the Council, would you not agree?" he asked.

"I don't know what to say. But the Jedi Council may not see it that way," Anakin cautioned him. Though he was rather bursting with pride, he wouldn't let the Chancellor be blinded about the truth. "I am rather young in their eyes and lack the necessary experience."

"All you need to do is represent me and offer them my counsel, nothing more. There is no need to worry - I have already spoken to Masters Windu and Allie about my suggestion. I am to hear from them later. I just wished to apprise you of the situation so that you would not be unduly surprised."

"Thank you, sir."

"Now, go. I'm sure you have other matters that need attending to. Say, seeing your friend the lovely Senator Amidala?" he slyly suggested.

Anakin looked away, guiltily flushing. "I actually have to attend a lecture Master Kenobi is giving about the sieges on the outer rim. As I play a part in them, we were going to jointly share the lecture."

"Ah, I suppose the work of a Jedi is never done."

Smiling slightly, he nodded. "Of course not - just as the Chancellor's job is never done. I shall see you later, sir. And, Chancellor…thank you for the vote of confidence. Should the Council decide to make me a member, I shall do my best to perform my duty in a way that will live up to the faith and trust you've put in me."

"Think nothing of it, my boy. It's what you deserve for all that you have done for the Republic and for me."

"I was only doing as Master Kenobi taught me," Anakin demurred. Looking straight at him, he added, an almost harsh edge to his voice. "I'm sure you wish to thank him personally for his help though. If not for him, our success would not have been assured. I know that it did not look that way from where you sat but it was entirely because of my Master that we were able to do all that we did."

"Of course I do wish to thank him. Such thanks should be given in person, never through a third party, no matter how trusted they are," Palpatine said, smiling quite sincerely - though there was an unusually vicious look in his eyes that Anakin didn't like. "Master Kenobi has done me a great service and I would be remiss if I did not thank him properly for it."

Anakin shivered as the words left Palpatine's mouth, though he could not say for sure why he felt fear trail up his spine. Quickly, he bowed and left the room, deeply troubled.


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan comes to a realization. And makes a painful choice - but it was the only choice he could make.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The two races mentioned are real in the GFFA - though I do not know all that much about them other than what is written in the SW Wiki.

* * *

 

After the lecture was over, Anakin waited for Obi-Wan to close up the room. Finally, the Jedi turned to face him, arms crossed across his chest, "You spoke to Senator Amidala. I take it that things went well."

"I didn't exactly go to see Padmé," he held up a hand to forestall Obi-Wan's words. He knew what his Master was going to say about how avoiding the issue would not lessen the impact of the outcome but he didn't really want to deal with it right now. Something else bothered him and it just would not let him go. Thus, he wished to get his Master's opinion about it, if only to silence the voice that was constantly nagging him. "My meeting with the Chancellor took longer than either of us expected."

"Is he all right?" Obi-Wan asked, concerned. While he did not particularly care for the man or his politics - or his ethics for that matter - he was Anakin's friend. And with all the matters clamoring for Anakin's attention, the last thing he wished was for his friend to be further weighed down by concerns for the Chancellor's health.

"That's the thing, he said he was fine. That Grievous treated him well and that no harm came to him. Don't you find that odd, Master?" Anakin hesitantly asked, uncertain if he was doing the right thing. He knew that Obi-Wan did not care for the Chancellor and recalling Palpatine's uncharitable behavior towards his Master, Anakin felt torn between them - though he knew where his loyalty ultimately lay. "I mean, I don't wish Palpatine any harm - he's my friend - but don't you find it strange that he wasn't hurt - even a little - like other prisoners are?"

Obi-Wan gave it some thought, his hand tugging his beard lightly. "Now that you mention it, it is peculiar that he wasn't harmed. Dooku wasn't with him from the beginning - you and I both felt him on Tythe, so that leaves me to wonder just why the Dark Lord would order the capture of the Chancellor but would not allow him to be harmed. And how did Grievous manage to capture him without the Chancellor even receiving one scratch in the attempt You and I both know that such a feat is nearly impossible to do unless…" he stopped, not liking where that thought was leading him. It was leading him straight to what Mace had been talking about earlier - and what he wasn't supposed to tell Anakin.

"Unless?" Anakin prompted, knowing Obi-Wan was on to something. He had that reassuring look in his eyes that said there was a way out, they would conquer the odds again. It did not fail to soothe Anakin now as it always did in battle. His Master would solve everything and he would help him bring about the results by standing at his side, ready to aid him in whatever capacity his Master desired of him.

But now, his Master hesitated, Anakin could not know - _could not imagine_ \- the battle being wrestled inside of Obi-Wan at that moment.

Obi-Wan felt trapped between his two loyalties, no longer able to stand neutral in this conflict that his former Padawan faced - _for it had become his own conflict_.

The Jedi Master was fraying from the inside out. Completely torn in two directions by the people of the Republic whom he had devoted his life to. And the one he loved for no other reason than that he was his friend and beloved. He did not really wish to betray Anakin's trust - but he was not entirely sure that he could betray the Council's trust.

Obi-Wan did not know if he had that kind of courage of conviction to do so. He was not like his Master or his former Padawan, full of reckless courage and fearless determination to flout convention. The only time he had tried to do such a thing, he was wrong. He had come back and swore that from that time forth, he would always follow the Jedi Council, he would always be the perfect Jedi.

Yet, here he was, contemplating throwing it all away. And for what?

"Master?" Anakin was really concerned now. It had never taken Obi-Wan more than a second to gather his thoughts and answer him - even if that answer had been to try to shut him out, to put him in his place.

"Not here, Anakin. Let's talk at Dex's," Obi-Wan decided as he looked at him, quickly making his way up the stairs and out the now open door. This was why he was contemplating it - his best friend needed him now as he never had before.

There was a sense of urgency in his walk that was never there - not even in battle. He had to tell Anakin everything that was going on.  Or he would lose his nerve and keep silent because as much as he loved him, this was not something he did easily.  He knew that if he did not speak now, he never would.

Blinking in complete and utter shock, Anakin raced up the stairs after him. The swift motions of his Master made it very difficult for him to keep up but he wanted to know what was going on - why his Master was acting so oddly. To have his Master act so frightened him in ways that he had never thought possible.

Once in Dex's, they sat in the back, nearly enshrouded by the darkness of the room. Upon taking their orders, Dex wisely left them alone. The Basilisk knew that Obi-Wan was struggling - still - with his decision but was resolved to follow through on it. His heart went out to Obi-Wan, knowing how this must be affecting the man.

Anakin waited, tensely. It took all of his strength to keep from asking him questions, from demanding answers from his Master. But the pained expression of utter heartbreak and loss on his face kept him silent more affectively than any words ever could've done. _Whatever it is_ , he wanted to say, _whatever it is, Obi-Wan, tell me. I will do everything within my power to help you. I just need to know what you want, what you need me to do to help fix this for you_.

Speaking quietly, Obi-Wan stared at his hands, searching for the words to speak even as he hesitantly began. "What I am about to tell you is…something that I was told specifically that I could not say to you, Anakin. Please, bear with me and allow me the chance to say my piece before you do anything. I...I do not wish to keep secrets from you. What I am about to tell you…I am putting my whole future with the Jedi Order at risk. More importantly, I am putting the future of the entire Republic at risk."

"Just say it, Master, please. You're scaring me," Anakin begged. If he hadn't been worried before, this would have caused him to worry. As it was, paranoia was starting to set in. Still, it didn't escape his notice that Obi-Wan was risking it all for him.

"The Jedi Council tracked Sidious to 500 Republica - they had almost found him when Grievous' attack occurred. They believe that Darth Sidious is a part of the Chancellor's inner circle, that he is one of Palpatine's most trusted associates. More to the point, they wish you to spy on the Chancellor, report to them of his activities."

Anakin flared between anger and disbelief before settling on simple confusion. Pushing aside his drink, he pleaded, "Master, he's my friend. Why would you - the Council - _you_ \- ask me to do this? It smacks of treason."

"We are at war, Anakin," he sadly reminded him. "Things aren't that clear. But that is no reason to ask you to do this for there are other alternatives to the ones that were presented in the meeting. I…I will not ask this of you. They told me that either I tell you of this - or they would. I am sorry, Anakin. More sorry than you can possibly imagine that you are being placed in this position, that they would ask you to spy on your friend. I do not require it of you at all. I will be firmer the next time I meet the Council, impress upon them that they _cannot_ do this to you. That it would be wrong."

"But if Sidious is…" Anakin trailed off, blue eyes wide with horror, recalling all to clearly the look on his Master's face in the lecture hall. The way he'd trailed off as they'd been talking about Palpatine and his strange lack of injuries. Added into it all was the rather strange behavior exhibited by Palpatine in his office - and on the _Invisible Hand_. His head shook, unable to come to terms with what he was thinking.

It was just to…sickening an idea for him to contemplate in truth. "No, Master. You don't think…you can't possibly believe…it can't be. He's my friend." The truth was there, settling into his bones - making him want to lose his stomach in denial.

And yet, he could not for that would mean to put those he cared for in the greatest of dangers for only he could defeat the Sith. A hysterical laugh escaped him on a sob of grief.

"Anakin," Obi-Wan reached out a hand and touched the one on the table. With that gentle touch, the fist relaxed, the hysteria withdrew. "I am not saying anything of the kind."

"You didn't have to," he dully said, things making sense in a terrifying way. "On the _Invisible Hand_ , when you were unconscious, Palpatine's words implied who he was. I'm such a blind fool! Why didn't I see it?" He made to withdraw his hand but Obi-Wan held on, tightening his grip upon it.

"Anakin, you are only human. No one else saw it - and I could be wrong," Obi-Wan admitted, trying his best to comfort his friend.

"You're not," Anakin said. Looking at him, he could see the conflict in his Master's eyes. The pain that dimmed their beauty under a gray because of the anguish he was causing his friend and he ached for Obi-Wan. To have to shoulder all of this himself…it was unthinkable. "All those lives lost, all the Jedi that have died, all the clones that have suffered in this war…it is a waste, Master. What are we fighting for? The Republic? _The Republic is lost_ _to us all because we could not see_. _**I** could not see_."

"You are human for all of your incredible gifts in the Force," he softly repeated. He felt so inadequate, unable to find the right words to use to comfort him. "Sidious has had years - _years_ \- to build and spread out his net. He's hidden himself well. You are not at fault here, it is the Jedi Order who is. We have lost our way, become to mired in this whole political game."

"What are we going to do?" Anakin asked, shifting his hand under his friend's so that they were clasped together, both offering and receiving comfort from each other.

"We? Anakin, you…"

"Don't you **_dare_** cut me out of this, Master, and try to face him alone. I won't have it. We are in this together. **_Partners_** ," he fiercely stated. Suddenly, it was all to clear - he knew what he had to do. And he would not be denied that - even by the considerable strength and generosity of Obi-Wan Kenobi. "I am not going to let you face this whole situation alone. That is not the way we work."

"Your wife?"

"Let's take care of Sidious first, then I shall worry about Padmé and my dreams." In his mind, there was no other solution now. In order for her to be safe, he needed to focus on removing the Sith from power. He needed to get her away from his reach here. "I'll ask her to go home, to Naboo, seek safety there. I'm sure I can come up with a good reason. That way, she will be out of Sidious' line of sight and I can concentrate upon what needs to be done."

Obi-Wan did not know what to say and stared at him for a moment, unable - or unwilling - to come up with a suitable reply.

Taking advantage of his unusual silence, he pressed his point, "Until my child is born, I will be what I am - a Jedi Knight. I will not abandon my duty," he silently added, _I will not abandon you_. "Master, I want you to tell the Council that you've already given me my mission from them. We cannot let him suspect that we know - and we need evidence before we can bring him to justice."

It was nearly impossible for him to remain calm, to act in a logical manner when his blood burned to just go after Sidious. His heart screamed for restitution, to spill Sidious' blood and avenge the deaths of the Jedi whose names and faces were branded into his mind and soul in living fire.

He was called the _Chosen One_ \- born not only to balance the Force but to bring justice to those who suffer at the hands of those who served the darkness. It was galling to sit back, to play the waiting game - and yet, the Force was telling him that this is what he must do. So, he would be patient. With Obi-Wan at his side, he could do it.

For a while at least.

"Yes, we do. That is why you should not allow Padmé to go to Naboo - he can reach her there for it is his home world to. I would not be surprised if he had many supporters there. Will she be willing to go elsewhere?"

"I don't know, Alderaan is out because the Chancellor knows that Padmé and Bail are friends - the same with Mon Mothma. If she were to go to Chandrila, it would appear most suspicious unless we take both of them into our confidence. I couldn't do that, both of their worlds are pacifist worlds. But I don't know where else she could go. It would need to be a world that is both peaceful and has a good medical facility so that she'll be cared for should she go into labor. But far enough below Sidious' notice that she will not be found. Do we have any planets like that?"

Obi-Wan snorted, "The only one that comes to mind is Serenno. Now that Dooku is gone, it falls under the control of the Jedi. But because it is a Separatist world, no Jedi would dare place a foot there. At the moment, there are some serious negotiations taking place between certain members of the Senate and those who wish to reunite under the Republic banner. I imagine that they do not much care for Neimoidian rule."

"Somehow, I don't think Padmé will agree to go there," Anakin wryly observed. The idea of even suggesting such a thing made him grimace. "But isn't there another world that fell under his control because his family owned it? One that is as safe - if not safer - than Serenno?"

Giving it some thought, Obi-Wan finally nodded. "I don't think so. But there is a place she could go. Now, mind you, they don't have much to do with our war. In fact, they are the one planet that most find impossible to subjugate due to their extreme sensitivity to emotions and the rare ability to project those emotions upon anyone."

Anakin groaned at the memory. It was not one of his fondest or best moments. "I don't want my wife near the people of Zeltros, Master."

Obi-Wan chuckled. Though it was full of joy, it sounded very weak to his ears. "That only happened to you once, Anakin. Even though you were rather uncomfortable with the whole situation, you managed to make quite an impression upon the rulers."

"Once was one to many times, Master. Oh, yes. Her. She wanted to make me one of her numerous husbands because I looked like I was a good breeder," he dryly replied. "They delayed me when I tried to rescue you from that battalion." This was added with a pointed look, one that reveled that he did not appreciate his Master's flippancy regarding his life.

Hearing the tone brought back the reality of what they were dealing with. Sobering up quickly, he gave it some more thought. "Well, there is one people who might - only might - be able to take her in and protect her. The only trouble is…you."

"Me?" he bristled, insulted by this. Though he tried to keep any accusation out of his voice, his anger came out anyway. "What could I possibly have done to upset them when I have not met any of them?"

"Calm down, Anakin. It is nothing like that," Obi-Wan soothed him easily. Knowing of the delicateness of the situation, he did not mind. Well, he tried not to mind. "They are not very fond of gray Jedi. You fall into that category quite easily my friend - especially since you are married and soon to be a father. Traditionally, they have been hired to hunt them down and either capture them or kill them."

"Can they keep Padmé safe?" he asked earnestly. Right now, that was the only thing that really worried him. He needed to keep her safe from all of this mess.

"Yes," Obi-Wan slowly said. "These women are immense warriors of unparalleled skill. I have rarely found any to equal them."

"Who are they?"

"The Echani," he replied simply, knowing what he was saying - and that Anakin would know as well. "Yes. You do not find them - they find you. And in the case of Senator Amidala, I believe that they have always been with her."

"Then you don't believe she should leave," Anakin stated, "Even though her life is in great danger because of Sidious."

"I do not think it would be practical as it would only give Sidious reason to be suspicious," he corrected him.

"But…" he trailed off, recognizing the look in Obi-Wan's eyes only all to clearly. That was definitely the look of the perfect Jedi Master he remembered from his Padawan years - and on their missions to CIS worlds, the one that clearly said ' _don't mess with me on this - you will regret it if you persist_.' Anakin hated that look - especially when it was directed at him.

"If she leaves for no reason that can easily be explained - a family emergency or a diplomatic mission of some kind - he will search for her, placing her in greater danger. If we are to pull this off, to make everything appear normal, Padmé must continue to live her life as though nothing was wrong. Anakin, I am not trying to undermine your concerns over her. They are valid and I know that you are the one true judge of what you've dreamt." Obi-Wan's words revealed his understanding of his feelings.

Obi-Wan added, keeping their eyes locked, "But we cannot give Sidious any reason to really focus on her. Senator Amidala must remain in the public eye, on Coruscant. It is the only way to be truly assured of her safety - by making her stay out of his line of sight. And I will do everything in my power to keep her safe. I promise you, I will do whatever it takes to keep her safe."

Anakin shivered, staring into the gray blue gaze of his Master and friend, overwhelmed by his words. By the sheer amount of dedication he could see in those eyes - _for him_. "Just don't get yourself killed in your attempts to help me, Master."

"No promises, Anakin. I cannot do that," he replied, not quite sure what to make of the look of devotion he saw reflected back at him. "More importantly, you know that I will not for there can be no safety in such open promises."

"Master, I don't need promises. I need you to stay alive. I can handle anything as long as I have you with me - even losing Padmé and the Chancellor. So, don't get yourself killed. I could not handle that loss. I knew this when I was nine. I knew it when I was seventeen. It was reiterated when I lost you after the battle on Jabiim to that fiend Asajj Ventress, and I know it as surely as I know the voice of the Force. Don't you **_dare_** be noble and sacrifice yourself so that she will live, I will not last long without you. Deal with it."

The ferocity in Anakin's eyes silenced anything Obi-Wan may have wished to say for the very simple fact that he couldn't think of a thing to say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And Anakin's attitude towards Obi-Wan is written canon. In fact, the last of "Jedi Quest" basically came out and said that the greatest loss Anakin would have to endure would be losing his Master. And the only way he could survive that is if he had no heart. True.


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Padmé and Anakin have their long overdue talk. Finally - Obi-Wan said that, not me!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for any real or perceived OOCness.

 

* * *

 

 

Padmé entered her suite, looking around as she put her cloak down. It had been almost two weeks since she had last seen Anakin and he had been appointed to the Jedi Council. Excited - _and worried_ \- about this development, she waited for him to tell her the news himself.

The waiting was killing her.

She walked to the window and looked out. Not for the first time did she wonder _exactly_ what had transpired between Obi-Wan and Anakin after she had left them alone. Her baby kicked as she tensed up, her fingers clenching together in remembrance. The ache reminded her that she had to be careful.

The child in her womb could sense her emotions. Padmé shivered a little, realizing that this meant that her baby was Force sensitive. Resting her hand on her belly, she stared sightlessly out at the Temple in the distance. _Force sensitive - and all I have of Ani. I cannot give the child away to the Jedi for he may never return to me_ , she thought despondently.

In moments like this, she actually thought that Anakin would never come back to her.

Of course, she knew that he was pleased to have a place with her. He seemed excited about the possibility of a child - until that night when something drove him from their bed as though the very demons of war were snapping at his heels.

It was driving her crazy this worry, wondering what could have been so bad that it had caused him to bolt from their room in fear. What had he seen in his dreams to drive him away from her side - and straight to Obi-Wan? Was it her? Did she do something wrong? Should she have hidden their baby away? How could she undo the damage and bring Ani back to her?

She hated being so pathetically clingy, so dependent upon another's view of her.  This was not who she, Senator Padmé Amidala of Naboo, was.

But she was also a woman very much in love with a man, a voice in her mind whispered.

Glancing up at the sound of a throat clearing, she saw Sabé enter the room and looked at her expectantly. This was her faithful body guard and keeper of her secrets. More importantly, she was the only one who knew the depth of the deception she and Anakin had perpetrated upon the Republic.

It was mainly because of her that she had as much time with Anakin as she had. Deep inside, she knew what it cost Sabé to help her like this, to keep secrets from her compatriots. In her heart of hearts, she wished that it could be different. That she could trust more than just this one handmaid.

But she could not. Only Sabé could stand guard, be the keeper of her secrets for they were each other's soul keepers. A sharp pang twisted her heart at this thought for she had often failed in her own duty to her friend.

"I'm sorry, Senator, there has been no word from the Jedi Temple," she replied quietly, angry at Anakin for his blatant disregard of his wife in her condition. The love she felt for her dearest friend brought out the rage in her and she wished to do nothing more than pound the man for his neglect. Nothing would give her greater happiness than to do, to make him _see_ what he had wrought.

Yet, the love she felt prevented her from doing so. For better or worse, Padmé loved that unworthy lout - even when it was obvious that the man was utterly Obi-Wan Kenobi's.

Padmé returned to looking out the window, "I see. I was hoping for…" she trailed off, feeling the woman come up behind her. Leaning back into the friendly, supporting arm, she sighed.

"I know," Sabé whispered. "Come, you need to get off your feet and rest. It cannot be good for you to be on your feet all day, my lady."

"Sabé, after all this time, could you not call me Padmé?"

"I would not presume to be so forward," Sabé demurred, leading her unresistingly into the cool bedroom. Helping her out of her outer clothes and into a much lighter robe, she then pulled back the covers while Padmé sat down at the vanity. After watching her listlessly pull at the pins from her hair, she walked quickly over when none of them came free and took over the task.

"I can do this!" Padmé snapped, irritated by her inability to concentrate on something so inane as taking down her own hair. This whole situation with Ani left her feeling rattled, unsettled, and she wished that it would stop so that she could go back to feeling normal.

"Of course you can," Sabé soothed her. "But right now, you need to rest and take it easy. If not for your own health, then think of the child you carry. I will take your place this afternoon when Senator Organa comes. It might be best if you were to approach Master Kenobi about the matter of your husband. I know that it has been on your mind and he is the closest to him, unless you desire to speak with the Chancellor?"

Padmé shuddered. "No, I believe that there is something terribly wrong with him. I will speak to Master Kenobi as you suggest. Sabé, you are too good to me."

Sabé said nothing as she tucked her into bed, dimming the lights as she left. Walking over to the communicator, she called Dormé, Rabé, Ellé, and Eirtaé to join her. Once all of the remarkably identical, dark haired women had arrived (Eirtaé's hair having darkened over the years to match theirs), she gestured for them to join her on the terrace.

Making themselves comfortable on the wicker chairs around the glass topped table, they waited for her to speak. It was uncommon for all of them to be gathered into on location now that Padmé was no longer in need of them full time. So, Sabé's gathering them must be on some matter of import that she alone could not handle. "Please, drink up. I need to check on something."

Rabé shrugged and poured out the lemonade that sat on the table, passing around the plate of baked bread. Though she was curious - as they all were - she knew better than to push. Sabé would tell them when she believed that all was secure. Still, she couldn't stop herself from doing a quick examination of the terrace, finding nothing out of place.

After a moment, she returned and slid the door shut. Sitting down, she accepted the drink and then got right down to the business at hand. "Senator Amidala is unwell. I need you to help me get ready so that I may pass the inspection of Senator Organa and, quite possibly, the Supreme Chancellor. It should not be so hard to fool the Senator but you and I both know that there is something…wrong with the Chancellor."

"I'll say," Rabé snorted, playing with her fingers idly. "If I didn't know better, I would think that he is the Sith."

"Rabé, we should not speak of that openly - no matter how much I agree with you. There are some who do not feel that way and who need to be kept in ignorance at the moment," Sabé's words were pointed and they nodded, recognizing the weight of their silence and their knowledge. "In any case, what he is or is not, is not our concern. We have made a life commitment to help our lady. As she is feeling ill, we must make sure that no one notices that she is missing for it will do more harm than good."

Ellé smiled mischievously, a thought coming to mind. Though the rebuke Rabé had received was fresh in her mind, she could not help herself. "Does this illness have anything to do with the lack of a certain Jedi Knight who has not come to visit?"

Dormé scolded her, "Ellé! That is quite enough of that. We do not now - nor will we ever indulge in gossip about our lady. If you cannot act in a manner befitting a handmaid for our lady, you may be excused. I am sure Moteé will be more than willing to take your place."

The smile dropped from her face and she bowed her head, "I apologize."

"Do not let it happen again," Eirtaé said sternly. "You must remember that we are to protect our lady from any kind of scurrilous gossip or harm. I am sure you meant no harm but such words should never be spoken - even in jest. Not only does it reflect badly upon our lady, it reflects badly upon you. I believe that you were well chosen and suited for this task. Rise to the occasion."

Throwing her head back, she nodded. "I will. So, what's our first move?"

Padmé yawned and opened her eyes. "Moteé?" she asked, seeing the young handmaid waiting at the foot of her bed. "Where is Sabé?"

"She is currently in the office of Senator Mon Mothma with a few others. Eirtaé and Rabé are with her." Moteé informed her, watching her curiously even as she stepped away to pull out a robe and a light dress for her to wear. To her eye, Padmé still looked a trifle peaked but much more relaxed.

"I see," she slowly said, the conversation from earlier drifting through her mind. Not for the first time was she grateful for the core of women who had found her and bonded themselves to her for life, though she had tried to release them from their oaths of fealty. They were indispensable to her now - especially Sabé.

Moteé hesitated before saying, "Knight Skywalker is in the parlor waiting for you. Shall I tell him that you are indisposed?"

Padmé's eyes widened, "Anakin's here?"

"Yes, my lady," the younger woman confirmed.

"Tell him I shall be out soon," she said, rolling over so that she was lying on her back.

"Do you not need help?"

For a moment, she couldn't think. But Sabé's words came back to her. She was supposed to be unwell. In that moment, with the nervous feelings fluttering through her, she felt that her cover story was no lie but the truth. "No, thank you. I am doing much better, Moteé. Please, make sure that Knight Skywalker is comfortable."

Moteé was unconvinced but bowed, "As you wish."

Quickly, she rose and dressed in a simple dress and sweater. Stepping out into the parlor, she saw him sitting on the couch. He was fiddling with something. Of Moteé there was no sign. Padmé was not worried. The young woman was probably of either getting them refreshments - or granting them the privacy they needed.

"Ani," she said, relieved. "Are you all right? When you left and didn't call, I was worried that something had happened to you." She made as though to embrace him when he stood but held off, seeing the distance - _and pain_ \- in his eyes and in his stance. It was almost as though being with her hurt her in some way.

Pushing aside her hurt at this thought, she asked him, "What's wrong?"

"Padmé, sit down. Please," he entreated. Once she was sitting near him, he reached out and clasped her hand in his. "I told Obi-Wan about us."

"Without consulting me?" she asked, hurt that he'd made such a decision without her.

"Please, understand, I had to when I told him that I dreamed of you dying. I…I couldn't tell him something like that and lie to his face," Anakin pleaded with her softly to understand his position. "I need his help - much the same as you rely upon Sabé for her aid and counsel."

But Padmé only focused on one thing-his dream. It echoed his dreams of his mother. No wonder he had fled, fearing for her. Ani rarely had pleasant dreams - even the one in which he married her for it was marred by secrecy. "You dreamed that I died? How?"

"In childbirth," he replied. "I know that women have been giving birth for centuries and that no one has died from giving birth in years. But I also know what I know. I have seen death before, Padmé, even dreamed of it. I know that I saw you dying."

Padmé breathed a sigh of relief. It was just a bad dream that had sent him fleeing - not their baby. She did not know whether to be worried or relieved about this. Instead, she asked simply, "What are we going to do?"

"You don't mind that I told my Master?"

She shook her head, "I wish that you had asked me first but under the circumstances, I can understand why you did not. And you are right. You need someone to confide in as I do."

"Thank you," he pressed her hand, then looked away from her. "My Master says that the three of us should decide what to do - just in case something should happen to me."

"What could happen to you on Coruscant?"

"Anything could happen to me, Padmé. The same as anything could happen to you," he simply replied. "If nothing else, General Grievous' kidnapping of the Chancellor proved that no place is safe in this war. Speaking of the Chancellor, you haven't been spending time alone with him, have you?"

"No. Because our politics are so different, I have not seen him in some time. He's changed from the man I knew, Ani. It is hard to get an interview with him, his aides keep him very well guarded from just anyone. I think that you are about the only person who can walk in and talk to him whenever you feel like it. Why?"

Taking a deep breath, he reached out and blocked all spying devices. It did not surprise him to find many leading straight to the Chancellor's office. With a quick nod, he tied those into one of the holo-net stations. Ani looked at her then and whispered, "He's Darth Sidious."

"What?" her voice rose in shock but she managed to hold back on letting out an outraged scream.  This...this was intolerable.

"Shhh," he quickly hushed her, looking about quickly. "I've got the cameras blocked but it won't take long for them to notice that something is wrong. And that is something I wish to avoid at all costs."

Calming herself took a great deal of strength but she managed it. She then focused on the matter at hand, "Are you certain?"

Quickly, he explained all that he'd learned. "Yes. Obi-Wan told me what has been going on here while we've been in the Outer Rim. The Council tracked Sidious down to 500 Republica before the attack happened. There were just to many coincidences for the attack and capture of the Chancellor for it to be truly luck."

"What are you going to do?" she asked, hating the way he just recited the words. It was repetitive, with no fluctuation in the way he spoke. It worried her - this dullness of voice and tone. And made her all the more aware of the severity of their situation. Palpatine.

The Chancellor was behind all of this anguish and agony…suddenly the way he was speaking made perfect sense to her. It was the only way he could distance himself from the disaster at hand. The only way he could handle his mentor's betrayal.

"You can't tell anyone about this, Padmé - except for your handmaids. Obi-Wan believes - and I fully agree with him - that they are the only ones who can protect you from him now. From here on in, he'll be watching you all the time, so you cannot leave under questionable circumstances. I will do my best to help you in anyway that I can but…I am under intense scrutiny because the Chancellor requested that I be placed upon the Council. That is one of the reasons that I was not able to get away earlier," he told her. "As for what I will do…I will do what I must."

"And that is?"

Releasing everything for he could feel that it was time, he smiled. But it was tense and did nothing to relieve her mind. The look in his eyes let her know that he had restored all that he'd interrupted. "I will do my duty and be a Jedi."

A chill ran up her spine at the words. From past experiences of watching him, of watching both Master Jinn and Obi-Wan, she knew what that meant. And feared it. "Well, then I will rest easy for the Republic is in good hands, I know it is." Forcing a smile of her own, she rose with him and walked him to the door. Watching him walk away, Padmé had the strangest feeling that she would not be seeing him any time soon.

Sabé walked down the hall with Rabé and Eirtaé and saw her there. The shattered expression she tried so hard to hide, the slumped shoulders. It was all she could do to keep herself from running to her friend and embracing her. Exchanging glances with her companions, she quickly walked forward and, with an arm supporting Padmé's waist, helped her back inside.

"What happened?"

"He's not coming back to me, Sabé," Padmé dully said.

"Oh?" she asked, helping her sit down. "Did he say that?"

"Ani didn't have to - I saw it his eyes. The Jedi have found a solid lead to…end this war. And I know that he and Master Kenobi will be sent into the thick of things."

Sabé breathed deeply and let out her rage. Later, she would talk to Skywalker and find out the truth about this. If it was true that they had, indeed, found the Sith then she knew that her lady's words were truth. If not, then she would just have to remind the Jedi of his promise to Padmé - a promise that he had not made lightly.

"You know Knight Skywalker, my lady. He will be back," she soothed.

"But not in the capacity that I most wish him to be, Sabé." A sigh escaped her, both a whisper and a prayer of despair. "And you know what? It is all right, I am not where he belongs. I never was. You tried to warn me about this possibilty.  That this may happen, before the wedding and I would not listen to you. Why did I not listen to you?"

"Because you were in love," Sabé replied. "You still are - but you love him enough to let him go. Sometimes, the only way to love someone truly is to let them go, my lady."

"Is it? Is that why my heart feels as though it is breaking?" Padmé glanced up at her and shook her head, "Don't answer. I can see it in your eyes."

Rabé quickly left them, going to check the security cameras. It would never do to have a picture of her looking so bad, so worried after meeting with Knight Skywalker, appear on the holo-net. There were many of those within the Republic who looked to the Senator of Naboo for confidence, for safety. And they would not be disappointed or misled into thinking that things were amiss in the Senate.

Besides, she was well acquainted with the way those so called journalists worked. She could well imagine the story they'd come up with about the _Hero with no fear_ and the _Queen whose very image and courage broke the hearts of all_. Rabé found them to be irritating titles for two very different people - but they had their truths as all things did.

The holo-reporters found these two endlessly fascinating - and went to great lengths to prove their relationship whether real or imagined. It was a full time job to keep them out of their hair and off on false trails.

As for Eirtaé, it did not take her more than a second to recognize the significance of her lady's look. Bending into the shadows, she went to her quarters to prepare for the coming battle that she and her fellow bond sisters would participate in. They had already begun the fight, now was the time to redouble their efforts to protect and shield her from it.

After all, like the Jedi, the Echani had their own duty to perform.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed who the Echani were slightly. But I liked the concept of this core of warrior women who stood outside the norm and found in the handmaidens of Naboo a purpose for them.


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Separation of forces as the Jedi Council thinks it's the wisest course of action. Anakin and Obi-Wan are extremely reluctant to do so - but know they have no other choice.

 

* * *

 

Anakin and Obi-Wan walked towards the waiting transport slowly, neither man wanting to leave the others' side, feeling the desperate need to stand side by side. United. Yet, overriding this yearning beat the truth - both of them knew that this parting must happen in order for them to fulfill their duty to the Republic - and to each other.

Still, he couldn't stop himself from speaking. It would've been too much to remain silent when the warnings pounded inside his heart, begging for release. "You're going to need me on this, Master. I can feel it, even if the Council does not."

"Oh, I know that I will - I usually end up needing you," Obi-Wan agreed with him easily. His smile was disparaging as he added, "Yet, we both have our missions to perform. I know you don't want to hear it but tell the Council anything that happens. Whatever else they are, they are trustable."

An undecipherable sound escaped Anakin's lips and he shook his head, smiling only a little. "If you say so, Master."

"Yes, I believe I did just say so," he replied serenely.

"Funny."

"I've always thought so. Kind of you to agree," he said, reaching out a hand to tentatively place it on the taller man's shoulder, still uneasy with casual touches for all that he'd become accustomed to them over their years together. "Anakin, be careful and wary. I know that you are no longer my Padawan - but you are my dearest friend. I do not wish any harm to befall you, though it is unavoidable under the circumstances. Please, be careful."

"I will be as careful as you are, Master," Anakin pointedly said. "Come home to me, safe and sound. Do not try to come home - do. Or I will come after you, Sidious or not. If I feel that you are in danger, I will follow after you."

"And I suppose that if you must retrieve me, you will never let me out of your sight again?"

"It is a distinct possibility, Master." Though there was some humor in his voice, the all to apparent seriousness in his eyes made a lie of the joke. Knowledge burned within his heart that he would _not_ be seeing Obi-Wan again. It was more agonizing than feeling Padmé die in his dreams. Than finding out that Palpatine was Sidious, for those were things that he couldn't really change or do a thing about.

As painful as it was to accept it, Anakin had.

Well, he had done as best as he could. It was much easier to do as long as Obi-Wan was at his side, giving him clarity of thought and purpose. Their strength was in their unity, in believing in their partnership and knowing where their strengths - and their weakness - lay.

Obi-Wan did the thinking, the talking - that was why _he_ was known as the _Negotiator_. His Master's brilliance with words and expressions, his ability to be empathetic, knew no equal among any in the Galaxy - even the CIS was forced to admit to that. But when decisive action was required, it was up to him to lead and direct the action, to decide when to charge and hold the line. He was the _Hero with No Fear_ for that reason. For all that his friend was a brilliant tactician, his skills lay in the strategic, the planning of their missions. Those areas that had always been weak spots in him - and Anakin freely admitted it.

And he didn't mind this lack, for it meant that Obi-Wan would always need him in some capacity for his friend had always found it distasteful to resort to the sword. Though a deadly and fierce warrior, Obi-Wan simply did not like to fight. The result of this attitude was that, more often than not, any trouble that might've been averted with just the right application of coercion would always find them.

He would _always_ have to rescue him from danger. True, many times _he'd_ been the one to suggest that his Master be bait. But still, sometimes he wondered about this contradiction in his friend. Obi-Wan seemed to have the survival skills of a newborn baby for all that he could take care of himself.

And while he may often have told Anakin that the first rule of any mission was survival, he seemed to have a great deal of trouble applying that when it came to his own life. Which was why Anakin stayed beside him, protecting him - because no one else could do it as well as he could.

And Anakin knew it.

That was just the way it was with them. While he could strategize as well as anyone, it was harder for him to do it in a way that was understandable to others. In order for him to settle down long enough to do the necessary planning, he needed his partner beside him. As peculiar as it may seem to others, he _needed_ to be near Obi-Wan to think, to be able to face the future.

Now, he was leaving him to face this alone.

Well, not _entirely_ alone. Padmé and the Jedi Council were with him, much good they would do him when the reveal came. It was not _they_ who would have to make the decision about what to do with Sidious. Not they who would have to choose between friends and mentors. No matter the truth behind Palpatine, Anakin still thought of him as a friend.

He didn't know if he could do what he had to without Obi-Wan with him.

As much as he loved Padmé and knew she would stand beside him, she wasn't the one he'd grown to need beside him. It was at Obi-Wan's side that he had gone through his greatest trials. He had grown into a man and a Jedi with his Master and become stronger through his care and aid. While he loved Padmé with a young man's passion, it was Obi-Wan whom he had grown closer to. Learning to love him more with every day that passed as they grew together, becoming - in essence - one being.

Obi-Wan swallowed, unsure - as always when Anakin would say such things - of how to handle this. He gently squeezed the tense shoulder under his hand, trying to help him focus on the here and now. To bring him back to the here and now. "Anakin, you must realize that you cannot keep me with you always. It is not the way of the Force - nor is it fair to your wife and unborn child."

"General Kenobi," Cody interrupted their conversation, truly regretful sounding. Like others, he did not wish to interrupt the pair. He knew how painful this must be for the two had not been parted in such a long time. Still, orders were orders and they must follow them. "I have a message for you from the Supreme Chancellor. He sends you his regrets that he was never able to thank you in person. He wishes you luck, expressing the belief that he knows that you will succeed. The Chancellor states that he will be with you in this battle for you carry the fate of the Republic upon your shoulders."

Exchanging a confused look with Anakin, he nodded, "Thank you, Cody."

He saluted, "We will be ready to leave in five minutes, sir."

"All right, I shall see you soon."

They watched Cody walk off, Anakin's face darkened in thought. "What did he mean that he would be with you? That doesn't sound…good."

"I don't know," he replied after a moment, pulling on his chin thoughtfully. Looking at Anakin, he suppressed a sigh, recognizing the look there. Worry had set in and was warring with the need to beg him for permission to join him on this mission.

And while nothing would have reassured him more than to have his friend far from Sidious' side, he knew that it just wasn't possible any longer. Their personal desires and wishes had to be set aside for the greater good. They both had their tasks to perform. "Anakin, do me a favor and don't worry over me."

"Master, I've worried over you from the first moment we met," he said, exasperated. Clearly, he knew what Obi-Wan was trying to do and wouldn't have it. "Don't expect me to stop now."

"Very well," he yielded, more easily than he thought he should. "Then try not to worry more over me than your own task. Your mission is more vital than my own. Sidious must be caught - there is no other option here. It is he - and he alone - who will end this war."

"I know, Master, and I will focus on the mission. But," he added warningly, a finger raised for emphasis. There was a hint of menace in his voice as he spoke, of darkness. "I will also keep watch over you - _as I always have_. I cannot lose you again as on Jabiim, as on Cestus, when the Chancellor requested that you be sent there without me. This is not negotiable. You know that I always watch your back, no matter the distance between us. I always have and I always will."

And now that he thought about Jabiim and Cestus, those planets should've sent off warning signals in his mind about Sidious' real identity. It was because of the Chancellor that he hadn't been able to search for his Master after the explosion separated them on Jabiim. And when he'd gone to Cestus without him - _at the Chancellor's request_ \- he'd lost the feel of him when Ventress nearly drowned him. Once more, he'd nearly lost him.

Knowing how valuable to the Republic and their cause Obi-Wan was, one would have thought the Chancellor would not have separated them as he did. More importantly, he'd known how invaluable Obi-Wan was to Anakin himself. He should've known the truth then.

"Focus on your mission, not your anger over past wrongs. Sidious is clever. He wants to win - is very experienced in winning. Be mindful of your thoughts for they will betray you if you're not careful."

"Obi-Wan, skip the lecture and just tell me that you love me," Anakin interrupted teasingly - a tease that was met by silence. Slowly, a smile crossed his face as his Master blinked, shocked and bemused by his words. His hand slowly reached out, cupping his Master's shoulder in the exact same way that Obi-Wan had clasped his own.

It was like a light had suddenly turned on in his mind. He could clearly see the numbers and the way they added up. Like a child, he held those figures up to his friend, wishing that he'd be told that he was correct.

Even though he already knew he was, the proof was shinning in Obi-Wan's eyes.

"That's why you still slip back into teacher mold, isn't it, Master?" he excitedly said, finally able to speak of this nebulous emotion his Master refused to address outright. And though it was not quite how he wanted to talk of their feelings for each other, it _was_ something more than silent acceptance. He went on eagerly, "As though I was still your Padawan who needed your constant supervision. All those lectures, the pointed stares, the reiteration of lessons I have already had - it is your way of telling me you love me."

"A Jedi should not know any love other than charity for the entire Galaxy," Obi-Wan reprovingly said, removing his hand. He suddenly felt far too exposed, far too vulnerable - _far to close to Anakin_. It was for this specific reason that he'd always tried to hold himself slightly away from the younger man, knowing that he made him feel and question things, _want things_ , that he - as a Jedi - should not.

Anakin caught his hand and held on tightly. They stood there, clasping hands alone - and, to his perception, they felt far more connected then they had since their first bond - the training bond that had linked them as Master and Padawan - had been removed by the Jedi Council upon his Knighthood.

Though their second bond was just as strong - it had never been as intimate for Obi-Wan had never felt it quite right after Anakin's knighting that they be so close to each other. While he knew that it was necessary for them to form a partner bond, his Master had felt as though he was invading Anakin's space in some way.

Therefore, he deliberately limited it. It frustrated and irritated Anakin to have this lack of true communication and comfort. To lack the sense of total connection and intimacy between them they once had. There was this silence between them he hated-but he understood.

Now that intimacy was back and he was not about to relinquish it for a second. "We've had this talk about our feelings before. It doesn't change the truth - we still do. Master, please…"

Mace cleared his throat as he walked up to them. He had watched them for some time and knew he needed to interrupt the proceedings. They made him uncomfortable. "Obi-Wan, we have acquired new data regarding the General's mechanisms. You should study the information gathered once you have boarded. It will prepare you. But be careful of him, be cautious. He has more skill than originally thought - Dooku trained him."

"I see," Obi-Wan said, trying to withdraw his hand from Anakin's. The young man held on, his look speaking volumes to him. This was not something to be hidden, as though the gesture was shameful. Or wrong in some way. They were what they were - and the Council knew it, tentatively accepted it, even if they feared it. "Thank you, Master Windu."

"You should be on your way. After you study this information, you should spend the rest of your journey in meditation for you will need all your skill and cunning to defeat him. Consider what I said to you earlier and know that it was sincerely meant. I truly believe that you are the only one who can fulfill this task," Mace's words were pointed and Obi-Wan nodded, still uncertain but knowing that there was nothing else he could say to him. "May the Force be with you, Obi-Wan. Skywalker, Senator Amidala is asking to see you. We have a Council meeting in one hour, so you should see her before then."

"Good-bye, Mace. Anakin."

Knowing that he had no other choice, Anakin slowly let go of Obi-Wan's hand. Something within the Force screamed at him, telling him to follow after him. That he needed to be by his side now more than ever.

Yet, with Mace there, he knew that he would not get very far. The Korun Master was waiting for some sign from him that he truly could not handle what they asked of him. Anakin mourned the loss of the support Master Windu had once given him without reservation for he knew it was Mace who had backed him entering the Order as Obi-Wan's Padawan.

Of all the things the war had stolen from him, Mace's regard was the one he missed the most.

And with his wife waiting for him to call, he must remain where he was, on Coruscant. He couldn't just dash off, no matter what his feelings were. This was where his task lay. He was the only one who could see Palpatine whenever he wanted - which meant that he was the only one who could get the proof they needed to end this nightmarish situation.

Ultimately, it didn't matter what his duty and mind said to him. The words may have made logical sense to his Jedi side but to the side that was always in near perfect communion with the Force, there was something else being spoken. Anakin knew full well that it was the only voice he was going to listen to.

He would be leaving for Utapau as soon as possible - Sidious and the Council's expectations of him be damned.

As for his Master, knowing that Obi-Wan agreed that he would be needed was the only permission he required.

 

* * *

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Padmé and Anakin have an earnest talk about their relationship and what they really need.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for being supportive and leaving me kudos. It helps to make a crappy day ever so much.

* * *

 

Anakin put the comlink down with a sigh. He had a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach about what Padmé wanted to see him about. He had known that it had been coming the closer she got to giving birth.

They would need to speak about how he was to leave the Jedi Order and how they would explain to her family - to everyone - just how and why it all happened. Of course, he knew that they would get the actual way she got pregnant, but he wasn't sure that they would be happy when they told them of their marriage and just how long they had been married.

Wincing, he thought unhappily about Master Windu's reaction. There was no way to escape that and it left him with little opportunity to restore the Korun Master's faith in him. Mace would see it as further proof that he was untrustworthy. And he would, most likely, take it out on his Master.

His fist clenched angrily at the thought. His poor Master would be taking the brunt of everything that he, Anakin, had done wrong. He knew that he could not see Padmé this way - if for no other reason than that their child would feel his emotions.

_Their child_ …and that was just the problem with the whole situation between them. This baby complicated just about everything. Sighing in exasperation, he walked out of his quarters and into the training room, setting it on the highest level of protection and security so that his actions would not harm anyone.

Taking off most of his outer clothes, he stood in the center of the darkened room and breathed deeply. Finding his center, he began a simple kata and just let his mind roam free. This was his one, true way of releasing his tensions and anxieties.

The only way that he knew truly worked for him.

After fifteen minutes of stretching, he paused and gestured to the side. His lightsaber's aqua light illuminated the darkness and he fell more fully into the moment as the training droids came at him. Moving effortlessly between the blade and the Force, he completed his exercise, feeling more centered and at peace, though still troubled by what was to come.

" _You need not be so upset_."

Anakin whirled about, searching the room. For a moment, he thought he heard his mother speaking to him. It was eerily like those times when Master Jinn would speak to him, comforting him or offering him counsel when he was lost.

" _Whatever is to come between you and Padmé, you have the strength to face it. You have the ability to both love and to let go if necessary_."

"Mom?" he whispered, shocked when the lights suddenly flooded the room. Stumbling back slightly, he turned towards the door, narrowing his eyes in an attempt to see who was there.

"Are you done, Knight Skywalker?" Master Allie asked, looking about the room with some concern. There was a sense of emotional distress in here that she could not quite place. It echoed lightly about, not dangerously unsettling, but it unnerved her all the same.

Blinking until his sight was clearer, he focused on her. "Yes," he slowly replied, trying to push aside his mother's words until later. Though he had some experience with one who was dead talking to him, it had never been this personal to him before. Even when it had been Qui-Gon, it had never bothered him so much.

_My mother speaking to me. Could this be a Dark Side trick_? The thought came, almost distastefully to him and he rejected it instantly. He _knew_ that it was not. The love he felt was to strong to be anything but her, offering him strength to face what was coming.

"I was told to inform you that due to certain factors relating to Master Yoda's proposed trip to the Wookiees, our meeting has been postponed until further notice. There is nothing wrong but he was delayed by the Senate. They are not sure that this mission is entirely justifiable," she wryly added.

"That sounds like them. Thank you for telling me, Master Allie." Bowing, he exited the room, both relieved and nervous to be on his way. _What just happened in there_? The question circled about in his mind, unanswered as he left the Jedi Temple. Breathing deeply, he decided to accept the gift that the Force had granted him through his mother.

 

* * *

 

Padmé sat, waiting tensely for Anakin to arrive after they had talked over the com. His pinched face flashed before her eyes and she had to take a deep breath, slowly releasing it, twisting her fingers restlessly. Worrying over this would not help her at all. It would only make things worse.

But she couldn't forget the look in his eyes - the haunted, desperately worried look of a man in afraid that he was about to lose it all in the face of great evil.

Of course, she recognized the significance of today. How could she forget when it was branded into her mind as though to doubly impress upon her the importance of it? How could she forget what today was when it would be the day that all of their efforts to stop this war, to capture all of those responsible for the continuation of it, would be realized through the actions of both Anakin and Obi-Wan in their respective fields of battle. When things would be set in motion to capture Sidious and bring him to trial for his crimes - or see him truly dead.

Today was the day that Obi-Wan left for his mission to Utapau.

Rising, unable to remain still, she began to pace the length of the room, breathing deeply as she did so. A hand rested upon the gentle swell of her belly, recalling that she was not the only one who had had a disconsolate night. It was not just her future that was at stake here - but the child she carried, a child born because of their love for each other.

But bound for a life of uncertainty for she realized that she could no longer live her life in a dream. She could no longer live a half life with Anakin, snatching only a handful of moments whenever they could. She was no longer satisfied with seeking furtively for that moment, that one glance when they would have a second with each other amidst a crowd of people.

With her, he would have love and a family out in the open. A smile crossed her face as she thought about that, about never having to hide her feelings behind a mask of professionalism and friendship. To be able to hug him and kiss him, never having to look over her shoulder for fear that someone might see. To know that when she went to bed in his arms, she'd wake up in his arms, secure in the knowledge that there would be no good bye when the time came and he returned to his Jedi duties, fighting on the field of battle.

But Anakin had always wanted to be more than even being a Jedi offered, even though he needed to be a Jedi as Obi-Wan said. He always wanted to do more - and, as her husband, he would be limited in what he could do if he left the Jedi Order. It was not intentional but his training, his up bringing left him with little choices for he could not be in the army when the war was over. Nor could she stomach the idea of him being a racer for she did not have the courage to face the dangerousness of that career option. He would not be happy in the retired life of a private citizen after all he had done, had seen - many of which she could not even begin to imagine.

This war had changed him so much. Becoming a Jedi had changed something within him - or may be it was growing closer to Obi-Wan that had done that.

No matter how she looked at their situation, Padmé knew that what they shared was not enough. It had never been anything more than a pipe dream that she took out and looked fondly on when things got tough. They had been married for a little more than three years and they still barely knew each other, not exactly the best basis for a relationship.

"Knight Skywalker is here," Sabé quietly told her, regretfully interrupting her thoughts.

Padmé nodded, glancing up at him as he climbed out of his speeder. He was far to pale and shaky and she knew in an instant that something was wrong. "I can't do this, Sabé. I know that I should for it has to be done. But not right now," she quietly decided. "It would only break what little control he has over himself. I can't take away his support system. Right now, he needs me to be here for him because Obi-Wan is not."

Sabé looked over at Knight Skywalker, seeing what her lady did. There was something unstable in his expression, "His support system? Or your own?" she asked, trying not to be cruel but unable to stop the words that came. For she could also see what Padmé couldn't - that prolonging this charade would only cripple Anakin far more than if they were simply to come to a decision about what they wanted to do about their limboish relationship.

"Of course his support," she snapped, almost offended by Sabé's suggestion. "I have no need of his support when I have you and my other friends. I would have thought that after all the talks we had about this, you would already know that."

"Are you so sure that you only need us to support you?" she gently prodded her, meeting her gaze evenly.

"What do you mean, Sabé?" she asked, almost angrily. But she knew that her friend never said anything lightly. She always thought about everything carefully, from every angle before she offered an opinion. It was one of the things she most valued about Sabé over her other handmaids, the woman never did anything without considering every angle.

"My Lady, forgive my impertinence, but you do love him. Your love for him has you blind about the truth of things between the two of you. You love him, but you do not see him - it is the same with him. And while he has benefited from your love in many ways - all of which he has needed especially in this hellish war he's fighting - he is not the only one who has been offering love. You have not always been open to us like you are to him. He has been a source of strength and comfort to you in ways that I and my sisters cannot. As the father of your child - and as an expectant mother, you need that strength to be yours."

Padmé sighed, hearing the truth in her words - especially the slight reminder that she has not always shared with them as she should. Her handmaidens were not just body guards and doubles for her. They were at her side to halve her troubles, to give her courage and strength to continue to do her work. Still, "I can't break him now, Sabé, no matter what you say."

Sabé turned away for a moment, watching as he crossed into the room and looked around for them curiously. She inclined her head respectfully at him, "If you do not tell him now, it will be far worse later for the both of you. A heartbreak can only be avoided for so long. It cannot be evaded forever. If you really care about his welfare, you will not prolong this deception. To defeat the evil that is Sidious, Knight Skywalker needs his full faculties to be available to him. And I think that you do him a discredit to believe that he will fall apart if you do this - you would never fall in love with a weak man."

Anakin looked curiously at Padmé after Sabé left, "Padmé? What's going on?"

"Nothing, Ani," she started to say, stopping as she really looked at him. For the first time, she really studied the young man before her and saw a man who did not need her to mother him anymore. There was a look on his face that spoke volumes of disbelief about her words. One of her hands ran through her loose hair, grateful for the respite from Senatorial duties so that she could be comfortable in her own home. "How well would you say that we know each other, Ani?"

Not expecting this question, Anakin blinked momentarily before shrugging. "I guess we know each other pretty well. Why?"

"Really?" she pressed. "If I asked you, could you tell me what my favorite color is? What food gives me hives? Why I'm cranky sometimes - without using the Force or being flippant with your answer?"

"Padmé, what's the point of this?" he asked, totally confused. Of all the things that he had been expecting, this strange inquisition was not one of them.

"Just answer me, please," it was as close to begging as she was going to get.

Casting his mind about for anything in their past talks that might cover this, he finally had to admit, "I have no idea."

"Exactly," she said, almost amused by his expression. Under other circumstances, she might've found this whole talk funny. Now, it was just too painful to contemplate as anything more than what it was. The truth about how little they knew of each other for all of their love for one another. "You have no idea. What if I were to ask about Obi-Wan? What's his favorite color? What food gives him hives? Why is he sometimes cranky?

"He likes the color of the sunset reflecting off of the water. Hot boi tea, allergic to it," he replied, chuckling a little as he remembered how they found out. The chuckle was tinged with sadness as he recalled what else had nearly happened. "Nearly caused a diplomatic incident when he broke out, I had to do some quick thinking to save the situation. I believe that was the fifth time I rescued him. Council meetings - and when I drive to fast for his liking, which is most of the time."

"See?" she asked, as though he'd admitted some great secret to her.

"See what?" Anakin asked, now thoroughly confused as to what she was talking about.

"That you know more about Obi-Wan than you know about me," she replied.

"I've spent more time with him than you," Anakin pointed out; in what he thought was a reasonable manner. "Of course I would know him better than you."

Padmé sighed and turned about, staring out the window. "Ani, we're married."

"Yes," he slowly said. "I was there - I remember."

"You should know those little details about me - including the fact that I despise my left pinkie because it has that ridiculous scar on it."

"I'm sorry?" Anakin said, absolutely lost here. Closing his eyes, he inhaled and walked over to her, a hand resting gently on her shoulder. "What are we talking about?" he finally asked, trying not to be angry with the whole ridiculousness of their conversation. With the fact that he had no idea what she was so upset about and why she was acting like this. He did not need this right now, even though a part of his accepted that, in truth, he did.

Leaning into the touch, she took a deep breath and spoke. Her voice was matter of fact, though there was pain underlying it, "About the fact that we know almost nothing about each other even though we've been married for three years now. We know the big stuff about each other, the major stuff. But it is the little things that make up a relationship. Little things that you and I do not have because we have never been able to spend a significant amount of time with each other after we got married, I know that I decided that we should live in secret, but I never realized how difficult it was going to be. I did not realize how much I would lose by doing this - how much you would lose."

"Lose?" he repeated the word, incredulously. It was all he could do to focus on her for he was quickly starting to suspect just where this conversation was going to lead them. "Padmé, I love you. We have a beautiful child on the way. What have we lost?"

"I've lost time, Ani," she pointed out, not unkindly. Clamping down on her desire to just fling herself into his arms and forget this whole thing, she persevered. They couldn't continue to live like this - they just couldn't. It wasn't fair to either of them. They loved each other, that was true. But that love would not flourish like it should because they had no commonality to build upon. If they had been anyone other than a Jedi Knight and a Senator, these questions would not need answers for they would have grown together.

If they continued to try, they would only grow apart. He would grow to resent her because he had to leave the Jedi Order and all that he was meant to be, though he would fight against it with all his strength. She did not know how she would feel about him given time.

Would she learn to hate him? Resent him for what happened to them? Blame him for the loss of her place in the Senate? Padmé did not know if she would, though she knew that she would be forced to yield her seat in the Senate for a while. Naboo was one of the few traditional worlds in the Galaxy when it came to child rearing. Neither she nor Sabé had been able to come up with an answer for these questions. But this she did know, she did not want to find out.

Ani was too dear to her to take a chance upon losing him to something so stupid. "Don't get me wrong, I will always treasure the times we shared, the love we have for each other. But it isn't enough, Ani - sometimes love just isn't enough. It's not enough for me - and it isn't enough for you. It never will be enough for you.

He swallowed, forcing down the anger that rushed through him. It was wrong, these words she spoke. Anakin didn't want to hear them, not at all. This was not supposed to be the way things went for them. They were supposed to marry, have children, and live happily ever after once he had defeated Sidious.

Or at least as happily as they could when they would be parted from those they considered the keeper of their souls. He was not foolish enough to think that she would start telling him everything. He did not miss the fact that, while she was broken up over this, she was not breaking.

And he knew it was because she had discussed all of this with Sabé first - much as he would with Obi-Wan. They would always talk to their soul confessors first before they talked to each other; it was just their natural instinct. How could they build a marriage when they did not turn to each other first? When they spoke to their friends and not each other, working out their problems with another before they turned to each other?

The anger fled within him as it had when he spoke to Obi-Wan for he couldn't be angry with his Angel for she loved him. It was in her eyes and the way she half shied away, half leaned into, his touch. She still needed him to be there for her. There was fear in her because she was doing this, was going to raise this child alone.

Things were happening so fast to them. Almost to fast for him - and all because of one, stupid error upon his part that was costing the both of them their security net.

If he'd been more careful, there would have been no child. No blending of the two worlds he'd carefully crafted for himself to live in, to be safe in. He wanted to hate the child for taking that security away from him, for leaving him to face reality's cold bite without the protection of Padmé's safe world.

But to hate a child would have been one of the worst crimes he could commit. Somewhere deep inside of his heart, he believed - _he truly knew_ \- that this child was a gift. A blessing from the Force and a way to give him back his mother, for he knew that the child would be a girl.

"So, what are we going to do?" he quietly asked, pushing himself out of the equation with effort. It hurt, this act of shunting himself out of her life, out of his child's life, but it was something that he just had to do. If he really loved her, he had to do for her what his mother did for him - he had to let her go.

Hearing his mother's voice speaking to him, granted him some of the courage she had shown when she let him go away with Qui-Gon to become a Jedi. She had loved him enough to let him go, never knowing if she'd see him again. He could do no less for Padmé.

Padmé's eyes closed, hearing the desolate resignation in his voice. This was killing him - it was destroying her - but she had to do it. It was the right thing to do. "The decision has already been made after you told me the truth about the Sith. We need to dissolve out marriage," she quietly spoke the words.

"Dissolve?" his voice trailed off, unable to think about such an act. Even though he had been preparing himself for the words, he had not truly expected to hear them. He thought that she would say something about how they had to separate as lovers. This, though, this was…hard for him to contemplate.

"Yes, Ani," she firmly said. "We cannot remain married if we are to live apart. I could not live like that again - and we both know that our hearts are not truly with each other. My first love has always been the people I serve. Yours is the Jedi Order. We have always been more dedicated to them than to each other." She did not mention Obi-Wan, that would only cloud the issue.

Knowing that he couldn't deny that truth - especially the unspoken one, he did not even try to deny it. They were both to honest with the truth of who he was. "What of the child you carry, one who is part mine? Our daughter? Am I not to have a say in her life?"

"I wish that I could tell you yes with firmness and believe that it is true, but, I just can't do that," she sighed, shaking her head. Ignoring the very real implications of his words as to their child's gender and future, she pressed on. "Ani, you aren't here with me like a husband should be. When you walk out of my door - even when you walk in through my door - you are never just Anakin Skywalker, husband and father to be. You may be able to temporarily put it to the side, but you never lose that sense of being a Jedi Knight. The mantle of the Jedi is always resting just beyond you, never fully closed off. It is a part of your heart and soul now."

"I didn't know you felt that way," he started to say, hushed by her look.

"It is not a bad thing, Ani. But it means you are different to me than the young boy I once knew. When you became a Jedi, a fundamental part of you changed somehow. I did not want to see it but I have to face it now for you aren't complete without the Jedi Order. You are truly a Jedi Knight. It is what you want to be. More importantly, it is what you _need_ to be in order to be complete. But this reality that you live clouds your thinking. Not as much as it may for another Jedi, but it does cloud your judgment. What path lies before our child," she swallowed hard, "I do not want that to happen to our child. I want our child to have the freedom to decide what to do."

"In other words," he bitterly said, biting down once more on the anger that rushed up inside of him. "No. I have no say in our child's life."

"I think it's for the best," she gently said, compelled by her honesty to add, "But if you think otherwise…" This was a choice that would change _both_ of their lives and would affect the future of their child. Anakin needed to have his say in this, no matter what it was.

"No," he interrupted her, knowing what she was going to say. If she said it, he didn't think he could do this. He didn't think he could carry on and follow through with her wishes. This was what Padmé wanted and he had to accept that. Even if he hated what she wanted, she had made this choice. It stung to be cut so cleanly out of the decision making process.

Hurt that she didn't even want to try to make this work. But she saw him clearer than he did, clearer than Obi-Wan sometimes did for she had an emotional relevancy to him that his friend lacked for all that he tried to understand him.

Padmé was a woman of decisive action. She thought it through and made a plan, then implemented it. What she said to him, he knew she'd given a lot of thought to. It wasn't quick or instantaneous. It was thought out, discussed and then put into action. "I don't know what to think. But I will abide by your decision. You and Obi-Wan have always been smarter than I about these things than I do. I'll listen to you and say no more. I haven't really got a right any longer."

"That's not true, Ani," she objected instantly, appalled at his words. "There are things you see clearly that neither Obi-Wan or I ever will."

"True - but in this, it is you who sees more than I. I have been careless with you. I have just expected that you would be here for me, always waiting patiently for me. I have done you a disservice," he sighed. _What do I do, Master_? He asked, almost reflectively, not expecting an answer, knowing that he'd get one all the same. _You know what is right, Anakin. You already know that which you should do, you merely have to find the courage of the heart to do it_.

It was the counsel that Obi-Wan had been giving him right from the start. He could not have both - and he knew which he needed more, though it pained him to admit to it. "Obi-Wan is right, I have been selfish in trying to live in both worlds. Why can't things be simple like they once were, Padmé? Why can't I just…fix things without losing what I care about?"

Turning to face him, she rested a palm on his cheek. "There are some things in life that shouldn't be fixed. That can't be fixed. And you aren't losing me, Ani."

"It feels like I am," he sighed, reaching out to hold her one last time as a husband would his wife.

Leaning into his arms, she allowed herself just this one moment to luxuriate in his touch. To yield to him, before whispering, "You aren't losing me and I will not deny you your child, be it a boy or girl. You will always have an important and vital part in their life. But this is how it has to be - for the both of us."

"I know," he said, his chin resting on the top of her head. "I know. What if she's Force sensitive?"

"Then the child will be but I will not have the child raised in the Jedi Temple, Ani."

"The Temple is not a bad place, Padmé," he protested.

"No," she agreed. "But there are many things that are taught in the Temple that I do not think are healthy or wise. Therefore, I do not want our child raised there. Think about your own childhood and the childhood of those in the Temple, which do you wish our child to have?"

"A life of love," he simply agreed.

Nodding for she knew that he would give her no other answer, Padmé pulled away. It was time to get down to business. "Now, tell me of Obi-Wan…"

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Battle on Utapau begins.
> 
> And I hope it lives up to the wait.

* * *

 

The moment Obi-Wan stepped off his ship, he knew that something was wrong. The planet was…dead. It was completely and utterly dead. Not dead in the sense that there was no life, not dead in the sense that the residents had gone into hiding beneath the crust of the planet for he should be able feel them there anyway.

And there was a void where life should be.

What was more, Obi-Wan felt his mind utterly drown in the near total _lack_ of the Force anywhere upon Utapau. It was as though someone had dropped a blanket made completely of ysalamiri upon the planet. He staggered and leaned back against the ship, trying to breath through the strange atmosphere, grateful that he'd told Cody that if he did not hear from him in three hours, he was to call Coruscant and have another Jedi be sent in.

To be without the Force for a Jedi was to be devoid of life. More precisely, it was to live less than even a quarter of a life. While there were some who eschewed the Force, in the end, they always went back to it. For a Jedi could be without the order and still be a Jedi - but they could not exist without the Force.

Taking a moment to center himself, he was briefly grateful for his time under Asajj Ventress and her torturous Sith mask for it had deprived him of most of the Force. Drawing upon those experiences, he straightened up and began to walk into the cavern, knowing that he needed to find General Grievous.

Blinding pain struck him from the darkness within, sending him crashing into the wall. Jarring pain kept him conscious momentarily as he hung somewhere between being aware and being asleep. The last thing he recalled before blacking out was intense light surrounding him, lashing into his soul with paralyzing speed.

 

* * *

 

Anakin stared out the window, unable to feel Obi-Wan anywhere. He'd felt him near Utapau and then…nothing. It was like Jabiim only ten thousand times worse for he was quite aware of everything about him.

On Jabiim, he'd been distracted, distanced, disoriented, but fully engaged in what he was doing on the field of battle.

Now, though, now he was aware of the steady ticking on the clock. The sound of traffic as it roared by. Somewhere in the distance, repairs were being made to one of the many places the attack had torn asunder.

And Padmé was breathing steadily, her hands not ceasing their motions as she wrote down something or another. In her womb, his child slept, unaware of the chaos about it. Unaware of the troubled world it would be born into.

"Ani? Go to him," Padmé said, not looking up from her work. "You are not really helping me here - and you can sense that something is not right. Go."

"I can't. I have my duty…" he started to speak, turning to face her. Inside, he wished to go with all that he was. But, for all his own desires, he had to do as the Jedi Council asked. This was were he needed to be for this is where Sidious was. Sidious' treachery would be revealed soon. The safety and the security of the Republic rested upon him getting this proof.

Then he could go after his Master and fight by his side, as always.

"You have a duty to the Republic, yes," she agreed, finally looking up at him. Holding his gaze evenly, she finished, "But you have a greater duty to your heart. And you and I both know that that is not here the way it once was - it is traveling to Utapau. Leave. I shall be fine."

Anakin didn't know what to say. While she spoke the truth, she was still a part of his heart.  And he could not risk her life like this, no matter what.  She was his friend.  "Padmé, I…I just can't leave. Not like this, not without catching Sidious out. Obi-Wan would never forgive me for it."

"Yes, he would. But if something happened to him, _**you would never forgive yourself for it**_. Go," she reiterated. "I'm sure Sidious will slip up, he has to. No one is perfect."

"Our Lady Amidala will be perfectly safe, Knight Skywalker," Eirtaé quietly said as she walked into the room. Placing the tea down on the table, she straightened up and looked him right in the eye, "Of that you may be assured. We will do our job - you do yours. Master Kenobi has only been gone for half a day and yet, our floor has been worn thin as though he had been gone a fortnight. Do go join him, it will make us all rest easier."

It was there, in the woman's eyes. Anakin needed no other sign, he left with a hurriedly sketched bow.

"I hope this isn't a mistake," Rabé said, not looking up from her cross stitching.

"How could what be a mistake?" Dormé asked curiously as she walked in, arms full of flowers from the side garden.

"Sending Knight Skywalker after Master Kenobi," Rabé replied.

"Okay," she slowly said, pulling out a vase. "Second question, how could that be a mistake?"

"Sidious could attack us," Eirtaé quietly pointed out. "While we are strong, we are not strong enough to defeat a Sith Lord who has evaded detection from even the wisest and most powerful of the Jedi."

Padmé listened, both appalled and reassured by the way her friends were discussing this. It was eerie, though, almost as if they were discussing the weather or the latest fashions. And she felt included into this sisterhood that she'd often been denied. Sabé was right, she idly concluded. Once she took them into her full confidence, the walls separating them dissolved.

"He won't," Sabé announced, entering the room at the tail end of Eirtaé's comment. Hanging her cloak up slowly, she went over to Padmé and rested her hand on her shoulder, squeezing reassuringly even as she finished her announcement, "Sidious seems to have left Coruscant, though we are not sure when it was. I have a bad feeling about this."

It was a sentiment echoed by her sisters.

 

* * *

 

Anakin knew there was no way he'd get any kind of clearance to leave. So he didn't bother to ask. By the time they discovered his ship gone, it would be to late. Pulsing through him were waves upon waves of warnings.

Utapau was only a day away - and he had to get there.

Seeing the familiar ship hovering over the planet reassured him momentarily - until he realized that it should be closer to the planet. That it should, in fact, be engaged in combat for the general never traveled alone. No responsible leader ever did something so foolish as to enter the field of battle solo. The only reason for the inaction was something that Anakin couldn't begin to contemplate but he knew that he must if only to prepare himself for what he may find - Obi-Wan's fallen body.

Swallowing down his nervous fear, he made a dive, focusing on Obi-Wan's ship. Almost as soon as he cleared the atmosphere, he jerked, blinded. Deafened.  Pressing down upon his skull was silence, vast and empty as space.

Shaking, he tried to remain in control of his vessel. But it was hard when his lungs felt as though they were collapsing. He couldn't _breath_. Something was wrong. Gasping, he reached out to the Force and blackness hit him.

His ship nose dived, suicidaly speeding towards the sinkhole of the planets vast canyon.

Struggling to remain conscious, he could only sink further into his own mind until the pressure crushing him was to great. His head slammed against the ship's canopy as he lost the battle to remain awake.

The shrieking cries of the ship caught Sidious' ear and he turned away from the man he'd revived - _again_ \- with his torture. Eyes narrowing, he recognized that ship and he cursed himself for not thinking that Anakin would throw aside his wife to come after his Master.

He could not understand how such devotion could possibly exist in the boy for the twig who lay just meters from him.

Obi-Wan's eyes crept open when the lightening ceased to hit him. Ears ringing, he lay, waiting for it to cease. When it did not, he looked over at Sidious and stared in stunned awe at the sight of Anakin's ship just beyond the mouth of the cave. _It could not be_ , he thought, worried and more than a little afraid for his friend. _Anakin could not have known that I would be in this danger. He could not be so foolish as to come here, risking everything like this_.

But he knew with all that he was that it could only be Anakin - and he spiraling down into a watery grave, unable to save himself.

Horrified at the thought of what would happen to Anakin in the water - _without the Force to aid him_ \- he pushed aside his lethargy and pain. Pushed it aside and rose to his feet, shaking with the effort as the shocks still ran through his body. There was only one goal in his mind now and it brought him focus to see beyond the pain - to stop Sidious and get to Anakin.

Sidious looked at him, hearing him move about slowly. An evil smirk crossed his face as his hands raised again. "Always the stubborn one," he taunted. "Never one to die easily. Not one to fall down in the face of torture. Almost admirable really, shame you're a Jedi. You would have made an admirable Sith - though nothing like Skywalker will be."

"Why should I make your job easy?" Obi-Wan asked casually. Bracing himself for the blow, he countered by instinctively cupping his hands. Miraculously, he caught and channeled the lightening towards the area that seemed to be disrupting the Force. From somewhere deep within, he found himself thankful for Asajj and her tormenting him in the Sith mask for it had forced him to learn to exercise control over even a modicum of Force that could not be suppressed no matter how strong the deterrent was.

Pushing aside his worry over Anakin for the last time as the Force flowed into him again, he calmed himself. Without conscious thought, he called his lightsaber to him, knowing that it would only be a matter of time before he would have to use it. Sidious would have to attack him head on now.

Recalling his battle with Maul, he only hoped that he would be able to fight this battle against a Sith who had no equivalent that they knew of. He hoped that his mixture of Soresu and other sword forms would be enough to counter whatever Sidious had in his arsenal. No matter Mace's words about his apparent Mastery over the form, he still worried that he would not be enough.

Then, he realized that he didn't have to be enough.

The Force was his ally and would support him now as it always did. For while Sidious could use the Force as well, he was not an open conduit of it. The Sith used it as a means to an end and would never submit to its will.

The Jedi allowed it to work through them, directing their actions. It truly was their ally, a partner in their lives. Only by trusting in it completely, letting it help him as he had never before allowed it to, would he win the battle with Sidious. He had to stop thinking that he was fighting alone and remember from where he drew his true strength.

So, Obi-Wan did.

He let go of his conscious self and _believed_. He acted on instinct, trusting that the Force would make up for all that he lacked. Falling effortlessly into its embrace, he let it guide his actions in the fight that commenced. A fight that was far more intense than any he'd ever had before but one he was not alone in.

In the Force, he could feel his fellow Jedi, feel those who had fallen, and those who would pick up the battle against the dark. He was a part of it all - even a part of Sidious. Relaxing even more, he flowed with the current, never losing grip upon who and what he was - no matter how much the Sith's own touch upon him had him shaking in revulsion.

As Sidious fell to the floor, his lightsaber rolling away from his limp hand, Obi-Wan emerged from the Force's current back into the real world. Tired and astonished by all that had happened, he dropped his own weapon to the ground. _It was finally over, Anakin could rest easy_. _Anakin_. The name sparked memory within him. Fear for Anakin flowed through him and he turned away from the scene, finished with the battle.

Without pausing to make sure the Sith was dead, Obi-Wan dived off the cliff and into the chilly water below. Swimming quickly to the ship, he checked it out. Once assured that it had not sustained any damage - and that Anakin still lived, he swam to the surface and concentrated on getting the ship out of the water.

Slowly, the ship rose up and continued to rise under his awkward manipulations.

Unsteadily, it was true for it dipped and swayed the higher up it went - but it continued on its upward path to his desired destination - to rest on the natural landing platform beside his own vessel. Once it rested there, Obi-Wan came back to himself.

Shivering from the cold of the water he could now feel, he swam to the shore and crawled onto it, breathing deeply from his exertions. _How did Anakin manage to do these kinds of stunts all the time_?

Though fear crawled along his spine, he made his way carefully up the stairs, thinking that there might still be a trap. It took him a bit of effort for he lost himself in the labyrinthine tunnels a few times but he finally came out and walked over to their ships.

Pressing the button, he opened Anakin's canopy and reached in, shaking him gently. He was afraid to do more, not sure what would happen if he was not careful. Force deprivation to someone at Anakin's level was nearly always lethal - and Obi-Wan lacked the training necessary to help him.

He could only hope that he'd destroyed whatever it was that caused the deafening affect before it had damaged his friend to badly. "Anakin?" he softly called. Moving his hand up to touch his face, he nearly drew back at the feel of the cold and clammy skin. Though it went against everything he'd ever taught Anakin, he called his robe to him with the Force and climbed in, feeling uncomfortably pressed upon in the tiny space as he wrapped it about the freezing body, trying to rub warmth into Anakin's body as he did so.

Getting out of the ship once he was satisfied with his friend's condition, he called Cody, noting that he was only getting audio-not visual. He filled that thought away for later reference. "I need a med team down here as soon as it can be arranged, Cody. Commander Skywalker is in bad shape. I cannot care for him here."

" _We'll be down soon, sir. Did you take care of General Grievous?_ " Cody asked.

"Grievous wasn't here," he informed him. Something told him that he should not mention that he had been met by the Sith Lord. As much as he trusted Cody, there was something in the clone's voice that warned him that all was not well with his second in command. It bothered him, this feeling, but he did not discount it.

He could not.

" _Any sign of where he might have gone to, sir_?"

Again there was a warning that he should not disclose anything to him. Looking about, he saw the body of Sidious lying on the ground, not even a little sign of life pulsing from him. It occurred to him that the warning could have something to do with him. "No, Commander. I was not even met by a resident of this world. Why?"

" _There has been a strange disruption in our long range communication systems. Our short wave seems to be working just fine though, sir. We did try reaching Coruscant earlier - that's how we knew there was some trouble_ ," he said, an almost disbelieving sound in his voice. " _It was quite a miracle when we saw Commander Skywalker arriving, sir. What happened to him if you did not meet up with anyone?_ "

Obi-Wan grimaced, not knowing what to say. He settled on half truth. "There was a…surprise waiting here and Anakin flew right into it."

" _If you don't mind my saying so, isn't that usually what you do_?"

"I'm not always in need of rescue, Cody."

" _With all due respect, sir,_ " there was laughter in his voice as he replied, " _Yes, you are_."

Obi-Wan was slightly testy as he replied, "Might I point out that most of those times can be laid directly at the feet of Commander Skywalker?"

" _Most of them, sir_ ," Cody agreed, stifling his laughter under stern agreement.

"Just come as quickly as you can, I disabled the device. You should have no trouble getting in touch with the Jedi Temple now. Inform them that General Grievous was not here and that I have no idea where he is. Also, ask them to send Master Unduli or Knight Offee to us. We will need a healer's assistance to care for Commander Skywalker."

" _Understood, sir. But wouldn't it be better to return to Coruscant immediately_?"

_**No**_.

The word whispered in his mind - but it felt like a shout. As a result, his reply was sharper than he had intended it to be, "No, Cody. I believe that it would be wise to stay here until we are assured that General Grievous is not anywhere in the vicinity. I want you to split the men up into several groups and take a few ships out to the other planets in this system, searching for him. I shall coordinate everything while waiting for word from the Temple and for a healer to come help me care for Anakin. Would you begin that process now?"

" _Of course, General_ ," Cody's voice did not betray his surprise at the tone, _"Any other orders_?"

"Not at the moment. Be careful, Commander."

" _Watch your back, sir. Until we arrive, you won't have anyone to aid you if Grievous has left any surprises_."

"Don't I know it," he murmured to the silence. Moving away from the ship, he walked over to the Sith and reached out with his Force perception. Upon finding nothing, he folded his arms across his chest and thought about it. Something was not right with what he was feeling and sensing. If only he could get a clearer view of what it was, make some connection, he would rest easier about the victory - if one could call it so.

Shaking off his ominous thoughts, he called Master Yoda. As he was on Kashyyyk, he was closer to him than the other Council members. In as few words as possible, he recounted the whole, dark tale and waited for his judgment to be pronounced.

" _Hide the body you should. A team I shall send from Dagobah to research for record the fight to prove your betrayal to the Republic and to Skywalker, Sidious would have. Feelings over the clones, not far from inaccurate they are for traced their creation to Dooku we have. As apprentice to Sidious he was, feel the imprint of Sidious you do. Keep wary of them but remember that in the wrong they are not_."

"Thank you, Master Yoda. Should I tell you where I have hidden him?"

" _Find him the team shall. Experienced in the ways of finding secrets they are. May the Force be with you for great danger still in you are_."

"And with you," he ended the call and proceeded to do his newly appointed task. Though he did not wish to touch Sidious, he knew he had to. Once the body was secreted away, he returned to where the ships were. Knowing that he had to get Anakin out of his vessel before help arrived, he reached once more into the Force and drew that strength about him again.

Lifting his friend up and out, he brought him into the enclosure, away from where the battle was. He wasn't sure if there was any residual from their battle or if some trace of the Sith remained in the area but he was sure that it would not be good to expose Anakin to it. Joining him, he pulled him into his arms, feeling both awkward but strangely sure as he did so.

With Anakin secured in his arms, his head resting near his heart, Obi-Wan drew his robe about the both of them, hoping that some of his body heat would be transferred. Anakin's shivering had increased incrementally since he'd last checked him and he wished the transport would arrive, though he knew that wishing only wasted energy.

Still, he couldn't do anything but wish for Anakin's sake anyway. The thought of a world without him was unbearable.

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anakin's fight with Sidious.

 

* * *

 

Obi-Wan anxiously waited as they moved Anakin up to the transport. "Sir?"

"Yes, Cody?"

"Would you like someone to take your ship while you go with Commander Skywalker?"

As much as he wished to say yes, Obi-Wan needed to take a moment to think about what happened between him and Sidious. Now that Anakin was in safer hands, he would be able to do so. Reaction was settling in and he could hardly believe that he had fought the Sith Lord who had troubled them so much - and won. A Sith Lord who had been protected from the effects of a Force suppression strong enough to knock Anakin out. It was most puzzling.

He needed to meditate and regain his balance for this constant shaking was unnerving.

There was also the fact that he needed to make sure that the denizens of Utapau were all right. Now that the disrupter was gone, he could feel them again - they were terrified. He needed to reassure them that all was well, that the threat was gone from their world.

With a pained and regretful sigh, he shook his head slowly. "I wish that I could accept that offer but I must do my duty and make sure that everyone here is safe. Now that Grievous' trap has been destroyed, I can feel them."

"Very well, sir." Cody turned, then paused and looked back at him, "I will make sure that the commander is taken care of."

Nodding once, Obi-Wan watched them walk off. It was very strange, now that Anakin was not there, he felt no danger from the clones. The trust he felt for them was back and the Force was not telling him that he was incorrect.

"Anakin, please, be all right," he whispered before becoming the Jedi Master he was. There were other matters that required his attention, though he hated the fact that he was - _**once again**_ \- putting duty above all else. But he couldn't change who he was, not really.

 

* * *

 

_There's someone here_ , Anakin thought, glancing about suspiciously, _someone who was not welcome_.

"And why am I not welcome, dear boy?" Palpatine asked, his voice circling about. Painfully kind - and oozing menace that only now could he hear. "Have I not often invited you into my office, my apartment, to listen to you? Offering you a kindly ear for all your troubles? I've only ever wanted to be your friend."

"That's not what you offered," Anakin stated harshly. He whirled about, glaring at him. All he could think of was the death. The endless lies, the deception this man had perpetrated and created. The betrayal of him - _and the entire Republic_ , "Not really. I don't know what your real motive was, Darth Sidious, but it was not friendship."

"Darth Sidious? I? Come now, Anakin, where did you hear such a ridiculous thing?"

"From you," he coldly answered, arms crossing across his chest, trying to be calm. Trying in the face of Palpatine's suddenly patronizing tone of voice. Pounding inside his mind, a litany of names, of faces and people paraded before him, of worlds betrayed and hopes destroyed - all in the name of this one man. He desperately wished he had his lightsaber, though he wasn't entirely sure that it would be of any use in his own mind.

"I?" Palpatine looked thoughtful as he approached him, watching as he warily backed away from him. "I don't recall ever telling you such a preposterous thing. I may have spoken to you of many things but being a Sith? Please, Anakin, you're smarter than this. I never would have told you such a thing."

"Not in actual words but in meaning, in tone, you did. I didn't want to believe it of you - but every word you speak has a honeyed sound to it and nothing more. They are pleasing to hear. But I know what I know." It burned like icy fire, this knowledge, this truth. Anakin knew what he was - knew what he must do. His blood burned, an unquenchable fire flooding through him, causing a red haze to blind him.

"No, you only know what Obi-Wan Kenobi has told you. And he has never liked me," he replied, a sad smile on his face. Feeding the flames easily, trapping him within the rage that had dominated Anakin's mind for so long - giving Sidious the key to destroying the boy.

"My Master told me no such thing," he snapped, angered that Sidious would suggest such a thing about Obi-Wan. "No, he's never liked you - but he never would've told me to forget you and save him. If you were lost, he would have encouraged me to find you. In fact, he would've helped me. Not because you are the Chancellor but because you are my friend and he doesn't wish me pain."

"And you think I do? Oh, my boy, how could you think such of me?" There was a pitying note in his voice that grated on Anakin's nerves.

"Because I have proof."

"Based upon what happened on the _Invisible Hand_? I was frightened, reacting on instinct."

"Frightened?" Anakin mocked. "Of what? In your own words, Grievous treated you well - and I don't believe that Dooku would've harmed you anymore than the general would have. You were both of their Masters, Sidious."

"My boy…"

"Stop calling me that," Anakin interrupted him fiercely. "There is only one who has the right to call me that - Master Qui-Gon Jinn. Oh, wait. You robbed me of him."

"Do you discount your mother?"

Anakin felt the red hot flash of anger and knew - with startling clarity - that it was because of _him_ that he'd lost her. The Tusken Raiders had attacked her on Sidious' order. "She would call me son. And I would never forget her, through Obi-Wan's patient guidance, I know that she is with me always."

"And Master Kenobi? What does he call you?" he taunted. "Padawan? Apprentice?"

"Beloved," Anakin softly declared. That one, seemingly small word was filled with so much love and truth that Sidious stopped, startled at the peace that seemed to fill the man at the thought of the Jedi. It was like he had become someone else entirely. "He calls me that and more - so much more. In ways and silences and caring that you cannot even begin to understand for the ways of compassion and love are unknown to you. Obi-Wan Kenobi is beloved to me and I am to him. That is something that you can never understand and will never destroy, Sidious."

It was almost as if something had locked into place within him and he could see as he never had before.

The truth of who and what he was.

He was the son of Shmi Skywalker. Born on a planet of sand and fire, he had been raised as a child of great hope and undeterred courage by a woman who lived the same way. His mother lived within him, helping him, and carrying him when he could not do it himself. Next to him, he could _feel_ her there, smiling at him and urging him to take the needed steps forward.

Then there was his forever angel. In Padmé's heart, he would always have a safe haven to flee to - but he no longer needed it. He no longer wanted it. She was the one who'd loved and comforted him when he needed it the most. When there had been no one else to understand his grief, she had been there and she understood. With her, he had found a way to recover from the loss of his mother and the strength to go after Obi-Wan in his hours of need.

He would always hold her within his heart for he would no longer hold her in his arms.

Overcoming many trials, he had become a Jedi Knight, known, respected, and feared throughout the Galaxy. Many called him the _Hero With No Fear_ and the Chosen One of the Jedi. Enemies and peers alike granted him respect for his skills as a warrior, as a pilot. He was all of these things - but he was more than that, so much more.

Above all of these titles and callings was the one title he bore with the most pride for it was the hardest won of them all, he was the friend of Obi-Wan Kenobi.

It was at Obi-Wan's side that he'd become a Knight of the Jedi Order. The man had taken him on, at the greatest of costs to himself - and Anakin had adored the man for it. A partnership begun out of fearful necessity had quickly become so much more than either had ever expected. Together, they had grown into Jedi Knights and men, becoming greater than the sum of their parts.

He'd always loved him but in recent years, as he'd grown up and been changed by the war, the tenor of his love for his friend had changed, became more. This love had deepened for the two had faced many of their fears together. They had struggled and healed one another and fought beside each other - had killed for each other. Unlike his love for Padmé which had remained in a constant state, his love for Obi-Wan had grown for they had truly come together over the years.

And it was in knowing all of this - _and understanding these truths at long last_ \- that gave him completeness of being.

Drawing himself up to his full height, he towered over the other man. Towering with his own strength and confidence in the Force and the rightness of his actions, augmented by his new found confidence in who he truly was. Inside the flames of rage and vengeance he felt were not quenched. Far from it, for the flames grew in intensity and fury. They changed into something else - something far more powerful than mere rage under Anakin's hands. The Force filled him with peace and strength, granting him the ability to turn away from Sidious.

To turn away from the man he'd thought of as friend, mentor, and uncle for so long.

"Now, _**GET OUT OF MY HEAD!**_ "

Sidious knew that he had lost. This battle at least for there would be others - he would make sure of that. Nothing but endlessly resourceful, he _always_ had a contingency plan. And this one was simply divine - if such a word could be rightly used by a Sith.

A warning whispered in the Force and Anakin let it fill him, guide his actions. Gathering up his strength, he slammed the full weight of the Force that was in him straight into Sidious, preventing the man from making his final move.

Startled by the unexpected blow, Sidious was blown back. Unable to regain his footing under the constant onslaught of his attack, he stumbled under the pressure exerted upon him. He couldn't seem to raise his arms, his hands, to ward off the blows, to counter them.

Unrelenting in his attack, Anakin concentrated all of his energies on shoving the Sith Lord out of his mind. Shoving him so firmly into the Force that he would be absorbed - and eradicated from existence, he pressed on. With his mind clear upon what he had to do, Anakin did what he needed to do - he destroyed the Sith.

Seeing and breathing in the Force became easier once the taint that was Sidious was gone from it.

But it was not enough.

Never enough after what he did to them. Not content to do just that, Anakin extended his reach out farther than he had ever dared to before, blending into every life touched in some way by the Sith's taint - and destroyed it.

Destroyed it utterly before it caused irreparable damage.

Finally, _finally_ , his bloodlust was quenched and Anakin returned to himself, allowing the Force to leave, to depart from him. As it did so, it healed him, healed the breach within his soul and cleansed him, made him whole. Calmed, quiet, at peace with the world for the first time in ages.

But he felt strangely barren - as though expending so much of himself had taken away all that he had.

Though he knew it was worth it, truly destroying the Sith and healing the break in the Force, he couldn't help but weep from the loss of the purity he had found. What did he have left if he had truly spent so much, he no longer had any Force sensitivity within him? Could he survive if he could no longer call upon the Force?

He wept, despairing.

And then he heard it - the sound of the adored voice that reassured him, reinforced his will, and gave him home. It gave him hope, restored him to himself for it was the only thing he craved since meeting this person. It was everything.

It was simply and wholly… _Obi-Wan_.


	10. Chapter 10

* * *

 

"Anakin," Obi-Wan softly called again, tightly holding him in his embrace.

Though it went against everything Master Unduli knew, she finally recognized - after two days of treatment of Force deprivation and hypothermia - that Anakin needed more than bacta to help him - he needed Obi-Wan. So, she called him away from work and proposed a stunning compromise. She would handle the search for the general if he would care for Anakin.

And by that she meant hold him, soothe him, and comfort him in any way he saw fit.

The strange thing was, the young man responded promptly to the touch and love he received. It was almost as if he was soaking up his former Master's presence like a plant would sunlight and water. Within moments of Obi-Wan just touching his hand, he had responded like he hadn't under all her expert healing.

The feel of the Force coming alive within him was overwhelmingly amazing-and made her feel only slightly disheartened that her own work had never been so effective.

Anakin mumbled contentedly, snuggling further into the embrace. A slight frown crossed his face as rough cloth brushed against it, irritating him. His fingers pulled at Obi-Wan's outer shirt for a moment, trying to push it aside so that he could rest against his heart, hearing the reassuring beating of it.

Obi-Wan chuckled lightly, "Oh, you always were picky about that, weren't you? You didn't appreciate it when I grew the beard either, said it made me look old instead of distinguished and more my age." Accommodating him took a bit of careful maneuvering - since Anakin didn't want to let go - but he finally managed it.

Sighing, he settled back down on the pillows that propped him up. "What happened to you while you were trapped inside of your mind, Anakin? What do you see? So much rage and torment - and sorrow - traveled through the Force, I could barely concentrate on what I had to do. I think you managed to give me a few more gray hairs, not that I care as long as you're safe. You are such an impulsive, daft idiot - and I love you despite it."

"Love you," he mumbled back.

"Anakin?" Obi-Wan whispered, appalled that his confession had been heard. Overriding that emotion was total and complete relief that Anakin was back with them. "Are you all right?"

"Shhh, I'm trying to sleep," he yawned. "My pillow's not cooperating very well, talking when he should be resting to."

"I must call Luminara," he said, wanting her to check and make sure Anakin was fine.

"No," Anakin denied, tightening his grip upon him. He didn't want to be alone right then - and he knew that Obi-Wan didn't want to be either. Even if he never would admit to it. "You need to sleep, I can feel your exhaustion. And if I can feel it - I know that she can. Sleep, that is not debatable."

The new sound of maturity - of pain - in Anakin's voice surprised Obi-Wan. Especially since he thought he'd heard the last of his friend's voice changes. His voice had changed so much before the battle over Coruscant, that they had both thought it was the final change. Now, he wasn't sure that it was even Anakin's voice, it was so husky and raw sounding, full of an agony that Obi-Wan couldn't even begin to understand.

He wasn't even sure he wanted to try, shameful though it may be for him to admit it.

Struggling not to yawn as he tried to come to grips with this new change, he lost the battle against his sleepiness when Anakin's free hand went to the nape of his neck and began to massage the pressure points. Within moments, the both of them were asleep, wrapped up in each other's arms and totally lost to the world outside.

 

* * *

 

Padmé stood in her box with the rest of the Senate, watching in stunned disbelief the holo-reel that showed Palpatine fighting Obi-Wan Kenobi. The lightening he threw, the way he welded that hideous red bladed lightsaber with authority. The absolute Mastery over the Force the former Chancellor had could not be questioned.

It was not debatable in the face of this proof.

"This is an outrage!" a voice cried out, nearly drowned in the noise that erupted when the holo-reel had finished. "That we could be so deceived. The Jedi have betrayed us by not finding out about Palpatine earlier."

"Sit down, Mas Amedda," a voice spoke - one that hadn't been heard in the Senate in years. A gasp erupted from the crowd as Senator Bail Antilles strode into the Chancellor's pod, behind him were two warriors. "The Jedi Order has not betrayed us. It was up to us to look into certain matters that concerned the Senate and our own worlds - and we did not because we have become lazy. We have become indolent in our reliance upon the Jedi to do the work we wish not to. They have been our easy ride because they have willingly given their lives and their whole selves to serve us. If anything, we betrayed them first."

"That is a lie," he flatly declared.

"Is it?" Senator Antilles idly asked him, a curious look on his face. "Well, either way, you have no further say in the matters of the Galactic Senate. Mas Amedda, I am formally placing you under arrest for compliance with the Sith Lord, being a traitor to the Galactic Republic, and an accomplice in the kidnapping and murder of Shmi Skywalker Lars."

"You can't do this!" Mas Amedda cried. "You have no legal authority nor proof!"

A smile crossed his face, "But I do. Over the past few months my own investigators have been following many leads left to us by loyalists and it has lead us straight to you. I will grant that it has been a tough trail to track - but even the best can slip up. And your greatest slip up came when the attack on Coruscant occurred - and Palpatine was taken. Grievous could not have known where he was without inside information."

"As you saw for yourself, he is Sidious. He would have told the general," Amedda said, looking smug. With supreme confidence, he pointed out the flaw in Antilles' theory and made quick use of it.

"True. But we did not know that at the time and reacted accordingly to find the leak. We found the evidence in your office, holo-fed proves that you made a call only moments before the attack. As for my authority, I am a Commander in this war - which grants me the right to arrest war criminals. So, I am exercising that authority now. You are under arrest - as as a few other Senators who seem to have forgotten where their loyalty is supposed to be."

Padmé glanced over at the Alderaan box, noting the smile of genuine satisfaction on Bail's face. He practically beamed over the way this played out, but there was a hint of genuine surprise over how easily it had occurred. Glancing over at Mon Mothma's seat, she was happy to see that she was not the only one surprised by this surprisingly bold - and quite affective - move. Regret hit her as she thought of the kind of Supreme Chancellor he would've been for the Republic during these troubled times. How would he have handled the situation with those who had wished to separate from the Republic?

"When he does something, he doesn't go half way, does he?" she murmured to Sabé. "Did you know about this?" she asked when no response was forthcoming.

"Know?" Dormé smirked at the flustered Sabé, though her face never revealed her discomfort over her predicament. "Who do you think suggested it?"

"Sabé?"

"Even I have secrets that I must keep, my Lady," she murmured, her eyes staring at the ground to avoid meeting Padmé's. "For the past several months, Moteé, Rabé, and I have been acquiring the information that Senator Antilles needed to put away all of those who have betrayed the Republic. We wished to have no witch hunts among the Senate as accusations flew about in rage - especially against you, my lady."

Padmé gasped, "What could you possibly mean?" It had never occurred to her that she could be accused of colluding with Palpatine for she had served the Republic faithfully. It was she who had decided - along with a few other loyal Senators - to become a part of the Republic's army and serve along with the Jedi. Albeit her motives had been slightly selfish, wanting to spend some time with Anakin.

"You are the one who called for a vote of no confidence against Chancellor Valorum. You have been steady and unrelenting in your support of former Chancellor Palpatine until the outbreak of the Civil War, whereupon you withdrew into silence. We did what we had to do to protect you from his actions for you would be the first one under suspicion. Our names will never be mentioned-we did this for you and wish no other reward than your freedom and happiness."

"Order," Senator Mothma suddenly called out over the din. Luckily, her voice was strong enough to carry. "We must have order in here for there is work to be done. Lines of communication must be opened between us and the Confederacy of Independent Systems because we share much in common with them. With this revelation that both of us were deceived by this Darth Sidious, I am sure that we can discuss peace."

"We need to elect a new Supreme Chancellor," someone called out. "It is only through the supreme executive that such matters can be discussed and relayed."

Padmé tuned the rest of the meeting out, knowing that there was really only one choice in the matter to lead them out of these most dark and troubled times. Something in Sabé's face troubled her and kept her preoccupied. There was something almost…sad about her look that hit Padmé hard.

And made her deeply suspicious.

Later that night, she made her way slowly and painfully down the long hall towards Sabé's room and knocked. When she received no response to her second knock, she grasped the handle and turned it, opening it up to an empty room. Stumbling into the room, she blinked and looked about, shaking her head when the result was still the same.

Empty.

Sabé was gone.

On the flowered quilt, a note lay, innocuous - and poisonous for she knew that it would contain words that she did not want to read. Trembling, she walked over and picked it up, sinking to the bed for she could not remain on her feet.

The baby restlessly kicked and she rested her hand there momentarily, borrowing of its strength. Flipping back the envelop, she pulled out the crisp, clean, white paper, and read the words written there in neat, precise calligraphy.

" _My dearest lady Amidala,_

_Words cannot express my utter shame at the way I betrayed you, at the measures I took in making sure that the others remain silent about our actions. I cannot even say that it was for your own protection that I did what I did for that is only an excuse._

_A valid one, perhaps, but not in my eyes._

_You are both my lady and friend and I betrayed that trust when I undertook to deceive you and carry out the actions of another. The cause may have been a good one and was resolved peaceably for the new Supreme Chancellor and may, indeed, bring about the restoration of the Republic as it should be._

_But I deceived and lied to you simply by omitting the truth._

_As such, I cannot remain in your service. I have proven to be an unworthy servant to you and do not wish you to have such a lax servant. For while you have granted me privilege of being your soul friend, I am merely a servant to you - as it should be._

_Please, understand my position and try to forgive me for what I have done to you this day and in leaving you. I regret that I shall never see you again for I would…_ "

The letter was taken from her hands before Padmé could finish. Raising eyes full of tears, she saw Sabé standing there, the letter hanging from her hand, almost forgotten. "I never made it past the transport. I could not leave in such a cowardly fashion, with only a note to explain my actions. Or rather, a note for me to hide behind."

Padmé rose and stared at her, "You were just going to leave."

"Yes. I failed…" the words were cut off when Padmé's hand connected with her face, snapping it back in a harsh slap. Sabé stared back at her, shock written there.

"If you think that you can leave because of some imagined shame, think again," Padmé nearly snarled the words, eyes snapping angrily. "We have been through to much for such idiocies to destroy our friendship. And I will hear no more of this garbage from you about how you are merely a servant to me. You are my friend and I will not have you denigrating that. You are not going anywhere, Sabé, do you hear me? If you think for one moment that I will not follow after you, think again. I will. I will follow you and hound you until you have no choice but to accept that we are friends and that I am not going to lose you. Do you understand me?"

_It would've been one of the best speeches I ever made, Padmé thought bitterly, but then my water has to go and break_.

"My lady?" Sabé asked, concerned by the sudden paleness of her face. Instantly, she reached out to support her friend's body. Thoughts flew furiously through her mind as she tried to figure out what kind of attack may be happening to her lady now that Sidious was gone.

"Can we argue about you using my name later? I'm about to give birth," she gasped as pain hit her. "Gah. How did Sola do this?" she gasped, trying to ride out the pain. Nothing in her past has prepared her for such nerve wracking tears through her system.

Sabé helped her to the bed, calling out for Ellé. "Get a doctor! A healer! Anyone. Padmé's about to give birth." Not even bothering to scold the girl for squealing excitedly, she turned back to Padmé. "Breathe, Padmé. Just breathe, we can do this."

"Fine," she retorted through gritted teeth. "You have the baby, I'll coach you through it."

She cracked a smile, trying to keep calm herself. "I don't think that's how it works, Padmé."

"Well, it should." Pain shuddered through her again and she bit the inside of her cheek, not wishing to scream. "I wish Anakin was here for this. I'd kill him for doing this to me - and don't you dare remind me that it takes two. This is all his fault!"

"Of course it is," Sabé soothed, trying to think. Nothing in any of her training covered birth, so what was she supposed to do? Weren't they always boiling water in the holo-movies? But what good would that do?

"Eirtaé! Call my sister!" Padmé hollered suddenly, breathing unsteadily. "I don't care if she's sleeping or having sex, get her on the holo-com!"

Eirtaé walked in, the holo-com already activated. "She's not at home but your niece said that her Grammy was. I heard her screaming that she was needed on the communicator."

"Fine," she muttered through gritted teeth. "I don't care which…Ah!...one it is as long as they know what they're doing!"

" _It? Padmé, I raised you better than that. You do not treat people as though they were things, no matter how you feel - even if they are family_."

"Sorry, mum," Padmé apologized before groaning in pain again.

" _Now, Sabé, how far apart are the contractions? When did they start_?" Jobal asked, voice brisk and matter of fact.

Under Jobal's guidance, they managed to help Padmé until Ellé arrived with Healer Bant. She was panting as the Jedi Healer entered, "I found her coming over here. She told me…she said…that Master Kenobi asked her to be ready in case…the Senator of Naboo…ever needed her. She's been…watching us."

"May I?" she asked, walking over to the bed. Without waiting for a reply, she reached down and checked Padmé's vital signs. "Good, all of you are doing wonderfully. Now, Sabé, continue to hold Senator Amidala's hand. And you are?"

" _I am Jobal Naberrie, Padmé's mother_."

"It is an honor to meet you. I'm going to need to be concentrating more on blocking the Force that surrounds the children…"

"Children? As in two?" Padmé squeaked.

"Yes. Didn't you have a check up when you realized that you were pregnant?" Bant asked, slightly appalled at her irresponsibility. And she thought Obi-Wan was bad when it came to managing his health - it was one of the reasons she was glad the Council had never bothered to separate Anakin and Obi-Wan. She could count on the boy to take care of her friend like no one's business.

"I was going to," she defensively said, "But there was never any time. Things just kept happening," she weakly defended herself, though she knew how it sounded. She hissed as another pain rocked through her.

"Right," Bant muttered, wondering why Obi-Wan hadn't told her that detail. For a moment, she wanted to berate the woman for her idiotic decision but decided that it would do no good at this point. What was done, was done. "Well, there isn't anything I can do about it. But you appear to be in good health, so we should be all right. Mrs. Naberrie, would you continue to coach her while I do what I must? I'm afraid that if I try to do both, I will run into trouble."

" _I can do that_ ," Jobal agreed, wondering just what her daughter had gotten involved in. She hadn't heard that her daughter was even dating anyone, much less was involved with anyone seriously. A Force sensitive…oh, she hoped that didn't mean who she thought it meant. The boy had been nice enough but really wasn't the kind of guy Padmé should really get involved with.

Besides, he was a Jedi and that meant he was off limits.

Hours later, the babies both cleaned and resting easily in a bassinet, Bant quietly thanked them. "I will not tell anyone," she assured Dormé as she left the room. "I promised."

"But they will know of the children," Rabé logically pointed out.

"They will know - but we never take a child away by force. And the Jedi Council has a great deal more to worry over than the birth of two Force sensitive children - powerful though they are. With the revelation of Sidious, the sudden beginning and end of the extermination order upon the Jedi, and the negotiations with the Confederacy, they have a lot to do. I wouldn't worry over them much," she replied calmly. "I must be on my way."

Sabé followed her, "Extermination order?"

"Yes. Master Vos stumbled upon it when he was going through some records in Sidious' office earlier. It appears that there is a hidden order within the clones that if they receive Order 66 or Sidious dies, they are to terminate the Jedi. Some of them started but stopped suddenly, rather strange that. We still don't know what happened but we have several Jedi in the med-wing," she shook her head. "If you wish to, tell her that Anakin and Obi-Wan are safe."

"I will. Thank you," Sabé bowed and watched her walk out into the night.

 

* * *

 

Anakin and Obi-Wan woke up, feeling Coruscant's familiar call around them. Reluctantly, he unwound himself from Anakin and rose, stretching. Walking towards the view, he looked out at Coruscant, amazed at how unchanged it looked to him when he felt as though his world had imploded and changed-because he'd said three little words he never should've said. And he didn't know what to do about it for he knew Anakin would not let it go.

"Obi-Wan," Anakin shyly called out, "Did you mean what you said? About loving me?"

"Anakin, we cannot have this discussion - and you know why. She waits for you," he sadly replied, voice heavy with the truth.

"No, she doesn't."

"You are leaving her because of me?" he asked, turning away for a moment. Struggling to reign in his feelings, he turned back, resolute. "Anakin, I will not have that."

Anakin rose and stood behind him, resting a hand on his shoulder. "No," his voice was fierce as he said the word, leaving Obi-Wan in no doubt as to its truth. "I would never put you in that position, Master. It wouldn't be fair to you - or to her. My feelings may have changed in depth over the years but I love - yes, **_love_** \- the both of you. I cannot lie about that. I never have and I will not start now."

"Then why are you doing this?" Obi-Wan felt confused. None of this was making any sense to him - though he knew that he should be happy that Anakin was staying with the Jedi, he could only feel as though something was wrong with the situation, about him leaving his child fatherless now that there was peace for them to enjoy.

"Because she made this choice, Master. After I told her of Sidious and left her alone, she did a lot of thinking about our situation and came to a decision about some things - many of them I can't tell you because they are hers to share. Padmé knew when I told her the true state of the Republic that I would not be coming back to her, not as a husband. She told me this - after she told Sabé," he ironically added, knowing that Obi-Wan would catch on to what he wasn't saying.

"What are you saying?"

"Being a Jedi is what I am," he simply replied, no deception inside anymore. No lies. It was the truth and nothing could ever shake his belief in who and what he was again. "Even if you and I are nothing more than partners and friends, I would remain a Jedi. I could never be happy as Mister Amidala, known solely as the former Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker. I would be utterly miserable for I would become nothing more than an attachment to her. I need to be a Jedi."

"And you would be content with that? With living as a Jedi and not having her - or me - in any capacity other than friend? With having to ignore you child?"

"Yes," he said, strangely resolute and at peace with his choice. "For I would be living the life I was meant to live. I finally see the truth-I have to accept this and do this for me. You tried to teach me that so many times and I would not listen to you, not wanting to hear the truth for the burden would've been too great for me to carry. I wanted someone else to carry it for me, to make the decisions for me and just tell me what to do. I understand now. I can only live for someone else for so long. But when I do that, I am only as strong as the bond I have with that person. I am living the life of a Jedi for me - because I am the one I have to live with in the end."

Staring at him, Obi-Wan could see the truth in his eyes. Hear it is his voice. Anakin had finally found himself in facing Sidious. For the first time, he was truly at peace with who and what he was.

It was much the same thing that had happened to him after he'd defeated Maul.

Luminara opened the door and walked in, startled to see Anakin out of bed. They looked at her, a slightly guilty look on Obi-Wan's face at not having told her about this - even if it was only a recent development. "I have been told to inform you that the Jedi Council wishes to see the both of you. Immediately."

Anakin grinned mischievously and Obi-Wan felt the strangest feeling of foreboding. He was both looking forward to it - and wanted to hide from it. "Let the fun with the Council begin."

 

* * *

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meeting with the Jedi Council.

 

* * *

 

The two men walked in, looking about them. There were several gaps in the Council chairs and Obi-Wan could feel the sadness in the air. A hand brushed against his, reminding him that Anakin was still there with him. Closing his eyes, they bowed their heads, acknowledging those who had fallen.

After a moment of silence, they looked up, "Masters. I have news," Obi-Wan began by silent agreement of the two.

"I'll say you do," Mace commented dryly. "You found Darth Sidious - and defeated him. How did you do so when it looked as though the Force was denied to you?"

Obi-Wan closed his eyes, pain sweeping through him again. Knowing what the next revelation would do, he lightly brushed Anakin's mind with a comforting touch. "I have Asajj to thank for that."

"What do you mean?" Mace asked, noting the way Anakin remained relaxed, though there was a pinched look about his eyes that revealed his distress. He partially tuned out the reply as he studied the young Jedi Knight. There was something different about him - not an in your face kind of difference, it was a subtle distinction. Sublime and reaching into his own ability to see shatterpoints, he saw it. Anakin had become whole, complete - but he was still intertwined with Obi-Wan.

Yet, it was a different kind of connection. Suppressing a gasp, he realized that they had blended as one, whole unit - blessed and sanctified through the Force. Shuddering only minimally, he wondered what would happen if the Council tried to separate them now and knew it would not make a difference.

Near or far, they would forever be with each other. It frightened him, this change. For he could see what was going to happen in the Order. Already, many of the Master and Padawan pairs emulated these two. A whole Order of Jedi who worked as well as they did, it didn't bear contemplating.

And yet, he almost anticipated it for what it was. The Force was growing in the wake of the fall of the Sith and the rise of this pair. If this is what the Force required of them, then they would rise to meet that challenge.

"You would be surprised what time in a Sith sensory deprivation mask would teach one," he succinctly replied and would say no more. Though he had forgiven and those days had passed more than two years ago, the horror of his hellish prison days still had some hold upon him.

"And you, Knight Skywalker? Why were you on Utapau?" Master Allie asked, turning the discussion away from Obi-Wan. This whole thing with the Sith mask was extremely unpleasant. She had been the healer in charge of his care once they had finally convinced him to come in for medical attention.

Well, truthfully, when Knight Skywalker had actually dragged the unwilling man into the medi-wing. The man had been so insensate with pain as to be nearly catatonic.

She could still recall his face when he had come for her help. The desperate neediness on the youthful face to spare his Master this endless agony. His deep, azure eyes had been so pale as to be nearly white, so wide with shared anguish…she could not turn the Padawan away for anything in all the Galaxies.

And when she finally saw Obi-Wan…her heart had nearly died within her. To this day, his terrorized screams still had her waking in the night, shaking with fear she always had to release into the Force.

That mask had been unpleasant for him and left its mark on everyone who knew him.

"I have no excuse for my actions. I will merely say that I was where the Force needed me to be," he simply replied.

The utter lack of bravado in his voice, merely quiet acceptance of what he had done and the patient waiting for their judgment, silenced them. Anakin Skywalker stood there, robbed of impatience and arrogance, standing beside his Master, eyes trained on the ground. And it was not a practiced image to make a point - it was genuine humility. It was so unusual, they weren't sure of what to do for a moment.

The holo-graphic image of Master Ki-Adi-Mundi flickered momentarily before coming sharply back into focus, "It was you that stopped Order 66, wasn't it." It was more a statement than a question.

Anakin looked up, "Order what?"

Master Kit Fisto cleared his throat, drawing their attention to him. It was time to address what exactly happened on Utapau, since Mace seemed to be deep in thought about something. Though what that could be, the Jedi Master wasn't quite sure. "Perhaps we should start with what happened after Obi-Wan arrived on Utapau and go from there. We can discuss what happened to us afterwards."

"Of course. That would be the best course of action," Mace murmured, still thinking about what he had seen. If only Master Yoda was there, he could sure use his advice. Then again, he might counsel him to ignore it and wait for the Force to reveal a clearer picture - which they could not afford to do at this time.

They looked expectantly at Obi-Wan, who only slightly flinched at the thought of talking about it before launching into his tale. Drawing to a close, he turned to Anakin, "As for what happened then, you will have to talk to Knight Skywalker. It was his battle that, I firmly believe, won the day."

"Master, I could not have done it without you. Stop selling yourself short," Anakin lightly rebuked him, flushing with happiness anyway. Though he had the compliments and adoration of the entire Republic, the ones he craved and remembered always came from this man. "I'm not entirely sure what happened after I arrived on Utapau - other than that I found Sidious in my mind, taunting me in an…annoying manner. We…had a slight disagreement. I nearly lost control over my temper and fell into his trap. Somehow, I managed to stay in control of myself and changed my anger into something else. I shoved Sidious into the Force and eradicated him. Not until after I destroyed anything that bore his mark upon it did I let go of my anger. I am sorry to say, Masters, that I gave into my desires to see him pay and I allowed it to govern my actions. I did not stop until my bloodlust was quenched."

Mace stared at him, startled by the frank admission. What was more, he could tell that there was no blame in the Force. Though disturbing to hear, the Force had accepted it. Had, in fact, allowed it to happen. "And how do you feel about it, Knight Skywalker?"

"I do not regret it. The Force was with me the entire time," he simply replied. "It did not deny that what I was doing was the correct thing to do. And I will not deny that I would do it again if ever the situation called for it."

The simple honesty in that one statement caused the Masters to look at each other and then at him for a long time before Mace rose. "Knight Anakin Skywalker, kneel and hand over your lightsaber."

Though startled, he did as requested.

Mace held the lightsaber in his hand for a long time. Slowly, with a great deal of calm, he pronounced, "By the right invested in me, as the Grand Master of the Jedi Council, I grant thee the rank of Master Jedi."

Anakin's eyes widened, astonished and he glanced up at Mace, seeing that there was no humor in his eyes. There was only solemnity and serene authority there.

"Rise, Master Anakin Skywalker, Master Jedi and member of the Jedi Council."

 

* * *

 

"I don't understand, Master," Anakin said as they left the Council chambers. "I disobeyed my mission orders by following you. I admitted to doing an act of revenge, and they reward me by making me a Master and letting me keep my seat on the Council? It doesn't make sense."

"Anakin, you did not hide what you did from them. You admitted to feeling anger, feeling rage," he said. "But - and you need to listen to me - you did **not** do an act of revenge. What you did against Sidious was not even vengeance. What it was, guided by the Force, was righteous fury. It was not senseless rage. There is a difference between those two emotions, though they feel the same, and when you fought him, you found that difference."

"It cannot be that easy," Anakin objected.

"It is not easy - but it is that simple. Becoming a Master is not about power or what you have done. To become a Master is to become a Master of oneself. You yielded to the anger within you - but you did not let it control you as you could so easily have done. Instead, you changed it from pointless into something else, you admitted this yourself. When you fought Sidious, it was not for you, it was for those who had been deceived and harmed by him. You will never truly be comfortable with your Mastery because your trial was much harder than any other and no one - not a single one of us - will ever be able to understand that."

"Even you?" he softly asked, referring to Obi-Wan's fight with both Sidious and the Sith who had killed Master Jinn-both of which he won. Though the cost had been great, his Master had triumphed over them and conquered the darkness within himself.

"Yes, Anakin, even I."

"Master Skywalker."

The new title floated down the hall, echoing in the nearly empty space. They stopped walking and turned about, seeing Mace looking at the both of them expectantly. "Yes, Master Windu?"

"A word with you in private, if I may."

"Of course, Master." Bowing to Obi-Wan, with some trepidation, he followed Mace back into the now empty Council chambers, wondering what this was about.

After a moment, Obi-Wan went to his quarters. There was dinner to prepare, after all, and if he stayed where he was, the curiosity and the waiting would drive him crazy. Still, he couldn't help but wonder what Mace had to say to Anakin that he couldn't say to them both. It would not surprise him at all to know that these very same thoughts were going through Anakin's mind at that very moment.

He was just pulling dinner out of the oven when his door chimed. The door opened even as he straightened up and in walked Anakin, slightly breathless and agitated. "Obi-Wan," he breathed a sigh of relief as his eyes landed on him. The azure eyes studied him intently, not missing a detail of his appearance. "You're all right," he added, sounding completely confused that this was so.

"Of course, I'm all right. Why wouldn't I be?" he asked, walking out of the kitchen.

"I felt pain travel through me. As you are the only one I've ever been bonded to, I thought it was you," he admitted, joining him.

Obi-Wan had a nagging suspicion at the back of his mind. He'd not heard from Bant…but it was entirely possible, "Are you sure it was pain?"

"What else could it be?"

"A great many other things," he replied, only slightly amused by his response. "When was your child due, Anakin?"

He shrugged carelessly, "Padmé never told me and I never asked. I know I should have but there were too many things on my mind to try to pay attention to the baby."

Keeping his surprise hidden at this admission, Obi-Wan tentatively made his suggestion anyway, unsure of how Anakin would react. After all, it was unheard of among the Jedi. Well, as far as he knew it was unheard of. "Anakin, I think it was your child you felt."

"What?" he gasped, "How is…is that possible? Would I not have to have been there when she gave birth for such a thing to be?"

"Not necessarily," Obi-Wan slowly answered, trying to find the right words. This was more difficult than anything he'd ever tried to do before for he was truly going into this situation blind. "No other Jedi - that I know of - who has near your level of aptitude in the Force has ever become a parent. Any child of yours would have a stronger connection to the Force than a child of another because of you. It is entirely possible that you are feeling your child's needs and wants transmuted through the Force to you."

Anakin sank into the chair, staring at Obi-Wan, a desperate light in his eyes. While it was not quite as needy as it had been before, it was still there. It was like someone had cut the strings and left him without strength, without bones. "What am I to do, Master? If I am connected to my child, I cannot be a Jedi anymore. I would not be able to concentrate on what I must do. But…if I leave the Order, I don't know what I would do. I need to be a Jedi, there's still too much for me to do."

Obi-Wan reached out a hand to rest on his shoulder. It was intercepted by Anakin, who laced their fingers together, squeezing his Master's hand comfortingly. "What does Senator Amidala say about the child's future?" he softly asked, when it became apparent that reassurance was the only thing Anakin intended with this gesture.

"She doesn't want him - or her - to be raised as a Jedi. She felt that the Jedi had taken something from me, changed me in some way that she couldn't quite explain. I think she's correct - to a certain extent. But I also just think that she just doesn't want to lose what she has left of me," he shrugged as he answered.

"And how do you feel about that?" he asked, sitting down across from him. There was a strange comfort in being here with Anakin, merely holding hands. It was almost as though their bond - which had never truly broken - had become tangible, indomitable.

Anakin was silent, contemplating their hands as he put his thoughts together. "I don't know," he finally admitted, looking at him then. "I just don't just know. Is that wrong of me? That I don't know what I want for my own flesh and blood? My own child?"

Obi-Wan couldn't answer for a moment. Finally, he shook his head as he answered him, "I don't know, Anakin. I wish I did. I truly wish that I knew what to tell you to help you through this whole situation but I do not. In truth, I have no words of advice or counsel. I do not even have a platitude to offer you." The last was said with a deprecating smile, knowing that it was often a Jedi platitude he resorted to when he counseled Anakin.

Anakin stared at him, blue eyes on blue green. In the back ground, the clock ticked and a speeder passed by. Strangely, he was reminded of another place and time when this had happened - only then he'd been so agonized and restless that he couldn't think.

Now, it was all he could do. His mind raced wildly in myriads of directions, none of them very clear - but the touch of Obi-Wan's hand in his own grounded him in the here and now. It held him steady as uncertainty and fear gripped him, allowing him to embrace and then release it. "That's all right, Jedi platitudes sound good - but they aren't much help. I'd rather have your honesty," he replied with a shy smile.

Obi-Wan made a disgruntled sound but was silent, sensing that Anakin had more to say. "I think…I think Padmé is right. I don't want my child to be raised as a Jedi - at least, not if they continue to be raised to be emotionless drones. I know that you don't agree with me that this is how it is, Master, but that is what the Jedi are. They are raised from birth to lack a connection to the world outside of the Jedi that is vital. The Jedi Code - while it may have some use as a battle mantra to keep us from losing ourselves to the bloodlust that can easily sweep us away - is worthless as a guide to daily life for it denies balance within a being. It denies a sense of self-worth in one for it sets an impossible standard we can never reach."

"You're right," Obi-Wan quietly said, interrupting him.

Anakin blinked, shocked by the admission. Shocked by an admission he never thought he'd ever hear from the steadily supportive, perfect Jedi before him. "I'm…I'm what?"

"You're right," he obligingly repeated, his smile slightly deprecating. "But the Jedi Order is what it is. Without a catastrophic occurrence, we cannot instantly change our ways."

"Oh, I know. And if the changes occurred merely because of the catastrophe, they would not really last. We would fall back into the same pattern after a time. No," he shook his head, almost dejected by this truth. He hated that such a thing existed in the Order - especially when he could see the way it damaged those in the Order itself. When the Force healed him, it had showed him the truth about how things were for them.

Now, he had to show the Jedi the truth, he had to help them find their way back to the Force.

It was a daunting challenge - but he knew that he could do it if Obi-Wan stood at his side. With him there, nothing would be too hard for Anakin to face. Nothing at all, for together they had triumphed over several seemingly impossible odds with their perseverance. "Such a dramatic change can only occur in the Order if the Jedi see for themselves that they've fallen away from the path they are supposed to walk, that they have fallen away from the Force."

"When did you become so wise?"

Anakin laughed, somewhat bitterly Obi-Wan thought. "If I was so wise, we wouldn't be facing this, would we? I would've known better than to get involved with Padmé, with Sidious like I did. I wouldn't have trusted him so much."

Squeezing his hand, Obi-Wan sighed. "Wisdom is a daily progression, my friend. We don't suddenly wake up full of knowledge, knowing what to do."

"You did after Master Jinn died."

"It only seemed like that, Anakin. In truth, I was often stumbling around in the dark, never sure of where my own steps would fall - and definitely sure that I would fail you. I wanted to be the best Master possible to you. I still think that there were things that I should've done, that I could've done better," he softly finished.

Anakin's head shook, "You never will accept that it was the will of the Force that bound us together, will you? I was meant for you - and you for me, that is just the way of it."

"It sounds so easy when you say it like that, Anakin," he replied, doubtfully. What he spoke of simply could not be for he was just Obi-Wan, no different from any other Jedi in the Order. If he was unique, it was because of what he shared with Anakin that made him so, nothing more.

"Because it is," Anakin cut him off, not wanting to hear anymore out of him about this. The knowledge of this truth beat in his very heartbeat so loudly, he wondered why Obi-Wan could not hear it for himself. But it seemed that in this, his Master was deaf to the Force's voice - willfully so. "But I don't want to argue over this. I have something a little more important to discuss with you - and then I want to ask you something."

"All right, what is it?" he asked in the ensuing silence.

"When Master Windu talked to me, it wasn't about anything that I had done - or not done. I know that you were as afraid as I was that it had to do with my disobedience," he paused and they exchanged rueful smiles. Honestly, this ability they had to read each other was as comforting as it had a tendency to be annoying. Yet, he wouldn't trade this connection for anything in the entire Galaxy. It was too dear to him, entirely too priceless. "He spoke to me of his shatterpoints and what they revealed to him. In short, he wants me to use my unique perspective and connection with the Force to rewrite the Code."

"What?" Obi-Wan gaped at him, eyes wide with shock. For a moment, his fingers tightened their grip, unable to stop the reaction to his words. Rewrite the Jedi Code? Anakin? What could Mace possibly have been thinking?

And yet…and yet, when Obi-Wan stepped back from his initial shock - and outrage - to look at the situation with fair eyes, it made perfect sense.

Anakin really was the only one who had experience with both worlds-he would be the only one who could do such a thing for he had an understanding that the rest of the Order lacked. His life, the path he'd walked before and after becoming a part of the Jedi community gave him a sense of equity that was unusual, a balance that they simply did not have.

"I know," Anakin shook his head, "Surprised me too. But Master Windu said that he saw that changes were necessary if the Jedi Order was to thrive. If the Jedi are to be better servants to the Force and the Republic, we need to change our ways. Would you help me?"

"Help you? I wouldn't even know where to begin such a task," he replied, still stunned by the events of the past few days. To go from a situation where defeat seemed imminent to slaying the second Sith of his career, to finding out that the Order he knew was going to change its ways - it was almost to much for him to take in.

"Oh, don't worry about that, Master. I've got lots of ideas," he smirked at him mischievously.

"Yes," he replied darkly. "It is precisely those ideas that has me worried."

Anakin laughed outright, squeezing his hand before jumping up to get some dinner for the both of them. "Don't take on so, Master. It won't be as dire as your predicting, I promise."

"Somehow, that does not reassure me," his answer was typically dry and Anakin laughed again, unable to stop it from bubbling up. After a moment, Obi-Wan joined him. It felt good to laugh after all the doubt and fear they'd been through.

After dinner was over, they sat on the couch, quietly talking before Anakin yawned widely. He smiled sheepishly, glancing up at the clock. "It's late. I better go."

"If you feel you must," Obi-Wan said. It would be…strange to be without Anakin now. There was something inside that told him that it would be - not wrong, but not right - to let him leave.

"I think I should," Anakin softly said as he rose to his feet. Walking to the door, a smile crossed him face, he couldn't resist impishly adding. "By the way, Master Windu wants to know when we plan to make our bonding official."

 

* * *

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A happy ending - despite Obi-Wan's stubborness.

________________________________________

Luke and Leia squealed in delight as they recognized the ship coming in for a landing. “Papa!” twin cries of joy rang out. Running towards the ship, they continued to scream in excitement, seeing their papa get out of the ship. “Papa, papa, papa!” Both almost five year olds jumped up and down, waving their arms, demanding instant attention.

Scooping up the little rapscallions into his arms, he embraced the both of them. “And what has Master Obi-Wan told you about running towards a still moving ship?” Though he tried to be stern, he couldn’t help the small smile that crossed his face as he scolded them. Both at the twin looks of embarrassment on their faces - and at the thought of his bond mate.

His bond mate.

The words thrilled him and never failed to take his breath away. Once he had signed the divorce papers - with some regret for he did love Padmé – he had taken some time for himself, to think about what he truly wanted.

It didn’t change after a year away from Obi-Wan. And so, he had planned out his campaign to win Obi-Wan’s heart for life. It had taken him long enough to convince his Master that it was not rebound from Padmé. That what they shared with each other was right, that the Force had blessed them – and he wanted to shout it out from the rooftops, let everyone in on his joy when Obi-Wan had shyly – finally – admitted his love for him and agreed to be his bond mate.

And yet, he wouldn’t do that to Obi-Wan. He wanted to do everything in his power to make him happy, so he agreed to be discrete about their bonding. Though the actual ceremony had been private, with just a few friends, they had had to make a few concessions.

For one thing, to Obi-Wan’s utter mortification, their bonding ceremony had been broadcasted throughout the entire length and breadth of the Galactic Republic. To their astonishment, it had even been shown among those who had chosen to remain separate from them, though they had remained allies and friends.

Still, it surprised him every time he recalled that they truly were one.

“Not to do it cause we might get crushed. Even if you are flying,” Luke solemnly said, looking over his shoulder expectantly. “Is Papa-Wan here?”

Anakin’s smile was strained but they didn’t see. “Papa-Wan wasn’t able to get away.”

“But…but…but it’s almost our birthday,” Leia whined. “Papa-Wan can’t miss our birthday.”

“He never misses - **_never_**. Why isn’t he here?” Luke added.

“I’m sure he will be here as soon as he can, children. Stop pestering your father, he’s had a long flight in from the capital. Now, go inside. Your mother is waiting.”

“Yes, Aunt Sabé,” they chorused, somewhat dolefully. Kissing Anakin quickly before he put them down, they ran inside, screaming out to their mom. “Mom! Mom! Papa’s here!”

“Thank you, Sabé,” he gratefully said.

“We heard what happened. Is he going to be all right?”

“Yeah,” he softly said. “Obi-Wan won’t let something like being sick with the Corellian Flu slow him down. Master Unduli said he was recovering but that it would be some time before he could leave the medi-wing.”

“And you?” she asked, delicately probing him. They had come to an understanding on a day so long ago, neither could truly remember it. But they were both incredibly grateful for they each loved the children and didn’t want to put undue stress upon them. Even if they hadn’t been Force sensitive, children could _always_ sense when things were wrong.

Anakin’s hands covered his face as he wearily rubbed it. Almost as if he was trying to erase the sight before it, “I still see him collapsing, coughing up blood, Sabé. It’s a sight I’ll not soon forget. Why did I listen to him when he said he was all right? I could hear the rattling of the cough in his chest.”

“You did what you could for him. What he would allow you to do,” she offered, knowing that it was not enough for him. That it never would be enough for him.

“It was not enough,” he fiercely said, confirming her thoughts. She could hardly blame him – she was the exact same way with Padmé and the other handmaidens. “I should have insisted when I heard him coughing.”

“Papa-Wan’s sick?” Leia asked, lips trembling at the thought. “Is he going to die?” The question came quickly, reviving the memory of her grandmother’s death from some summer cold she’d caught earlier that year.

Anakin’s eyes widened, horrified that she’d heard him. Horrified that he had not even felt when she had some out to join him and Sabé. He had thought that she was safely inside, with her brother. “What are you doing out here?” he asked, not wanting to focus on anything else right now – especially the state of Obi-Wan’s health and how it would affect his children.

“I don’t want Papa-Wan to die!” she screamed, launching herself at him. Tears ran down her face as she begged him, “Don’t let him die, papa. Please, don’t let him die.”

Not knowing what else to do, he knelt down and held her as she cried in his arms. “Leia, my little joy, he’s not going to die. ‘Nara said he wouldn’t. She told me before I came that he was getting better. That he was getting stronger – and she doesn’t lie.”

“I want Papa-Wan,” she sniffled into his shoulder, rubbing her nose on his shirt. Though she knew that aunt ‘Nara wouldn’t let anything bad happen to her papa, she wanted more. She needed to see him with her own eyes. “I wanna see him, papa. I wanna go see him.”

Helplessly, he searched for the words to speak. He had never been very good at this kind of thing, always leaving it to Obi-Wan to comfort the grieving. “Leia,” he stopped and looked up, feeling compassionate eyes upon him.

Padmé stood there, watching her ex-husband and nodded at him, Luke cradled in her arms. It was obvious that the boy had also heard what had happened to Obi-Wan. His eyes were as red as Leia’s. How long had the both of them stood there? Or had Luke merely felt his sister’s distress and come to her aid? Anakin knew that he had always been slightly more instinctual than his sister was.

“It would be for the best if they both saw their Papa-Wan now. You know as well as I do that they will worry themselves sick over him – or worse.”

It was true. For while Luke had a calm demeanor, Leia was like him – hot headed and determined, though she masked it better than he ever did. It was something she got from her mother. She would find a way to Coruscant and heaven help them if she managed to talk her brother into going with her. Rising with Leia in his arms, he glanced back at his X-Wing, “There won’t be room for them both in my ship. Not to mention, Obi-Wan would have my head if I allowed them to ride in it without the proper restraints.”

Padmé nodded, her eyes slightly frosty with intent, “Forget Obi-Wan. I would kill you if you tried to take them in that devil machine.”

Sabé intervened before things got out of hand, she knew how argumentative the two of them got. It would be cute if they didn’t tend to take things to the extreme and hurl truly hurtful words at each other. “I’ll talk with Captain Typho. As he knows of your skill, he will relinquish his vessel into your care with little worry.”

Anakin, along with Padmé, Sabé, and his children, were soon flying back to Coruscant. He wondered how he was going to explain this to Obi-Wan when he’d promised that he would enjoy his time with his children and not think about him to much.

Obi-Wan knew better than to make Anakin promise not to think of him at all, knowing it would be both futile and ridiculous.

Mace was waiting for them when they landed and, for a moment, Anakin’s heart seized up inside. The tension was released as he realized one simple truth, he would know it if Obi-Wan was gone. There had always been a connection between them that could not be explained away and it would always let Anakin know Obi-Wan’s true condition, no matter the evidence to the contrary.

“Obi-Wan is awake,” he said by way of explanation. “I was just about to recall you for he seems most determined to not miss Luke and Leia’s birthday. Master Unduli does not wish to restrain him but is almost forced to do so as he keeps trying to rise from his bed.”

Anakin laughed, shaking his head. “That sounds like my Obi-Wan.” Anakin walked off, holding each child by the hand.

After watching them for a moment, a smile curving across his stern face as he thought of the children. Luke and Leia were definitely a breath of fresh and welcome air. He then turned to the two women who waited patiently. “Senator Amidala, Sabé. It is good to see you. How have you been?”

“Master Windu. I have been well, though Sabé had a cold recently,” Padmé greeted him with a smile. Though there was still some tension between her and the Jedi Order as a result of her decision to not allow her children to be raised by them, it had abated over the years as she allowed them to have some lessons in learning to control their abilities.

She had no choice, really. Walking into their room one day and finding the both of them unconsciously manipulating their toys had forced her to accept that she did not know what to do with them. They needed to be taught by those who understood their gifts. And she didn’t want them to do all of their chores that way.

But that did not mean she was going to let them pass out of her life. She was selfish enough to want them to stay with her. They were her joy and comfort – along with Sabé.

“Oh? Are you well?”

“It was only a slight cold,” she repressively said.

“Yes, a slight cold which had you in the hospital, unconscious for a month,” Padmé replied, smoothing down an imaginary wrinkle in her dress. “How thoughtless of me to think that it was much more grave.”

As they talked – and bickered – Mace guided them along the slightly crowded hallway. After a moment, Padmé stopped and looked about. “What’s going on?” she asked, gesturing towards all the packed boxes and crates that filled the hallway.

“At Master Skywalker’s suggestion, we are moving away from Coruscant.”

“What?” Padmé asked, startled by the calm way he spoke. She stopped, staring at him, almost horrified by his words. “But what of the Senate? The Republic? We need you.”

“I do apologize, Senator, my words were hastily spoken and not put together very well. I know, it is rare that I do so. But this is new to me.” Mace smiled, admitting his error was an uncommon thing for him. But one he was getting better at expressing. He knew that if he could not admit to his fault, how was he to teach others to do the same? “What I should have said is that the young children and their teachers are leaving the Temple. They are going to establish a school for the Jedi on other planets, much further out. 

"What we intend to do is reintegrate ourselves among the general population of the Republic. We must abolish the ideas that have circulated about what we are – and what we are not. Our intent is also to heal what we have torn asunder with our behavior in the wars. It is also for our own benefit that we do this for there is much that we must learn from other in order to become better servants to the Republic. We have lost touch with the Republic and the people over the years – and we must return to our roots.”

“And Anakin suggested this?” she asked, almost in disbelief. This plan did not sound like anything Anakin would have come up with. And yet, it did.

“Well, under the influence of Obi-Wan,” he admitted. “But it was his idea and his words that convinced us that he is right.”

Padmé’s head shook, amazed at what she was hearing. Glancing at Sabé, she smiled. Inside, the grief she’d carried for so long finally lifted and was dispelled. This was what Anakin was destined for. Not marriage and family with her – but this, helping the Jedi find themselves.

While she would never regret their marriage and their children, she fully let him go. Anakin was a Jedi. He was where he needed to be-and so was she.

Luke and Leia broke free from Anakin and tore down the hall, feeling Obi-Wan’s familiar presence in the Force. The door opened and they burst through, seeing him on the bed, covered in a thick blanket, wearing the gown of an invalid. He was pale and looked tired – but nothing more than that.

“Papa-Wan!”

He jumped, startled out of his light doze by their voices and turned slightly dazed eyes towards them. “Luke? Leia? What are you doing here?” he asked, coughing a little.

Hearing his voice, they scrambled over, pushing against each other in their haste to climb up on the bed and lie down next to him. Leia curled up against him, unconsciously mimicking the way Anakin would whenever he was frightened or nervous but didn’t want to show it to anyone but Obi-Wan.

“You’re not going to die on us like grandma, right, Papa-Wan?” she asked at last, brown eyes staring at him steadily.

“Die?” he asked, shocked, running a hand through her tousled hair. “No, dear heart. I’m afraid you’re going to be stuck with me for a long time, glaring down in disapproval at all the boys you bring home because none of them will ever be good enough for my little girl.”

“Good. And I’m not going to be bringing home boys,” she said, yawning a little.

“No?” he challenged.

“Huh-uh, boys stink.”

“We do not,” Luke objected hotly, reaching over to pull on one of her curls.

“Do too,” she stuck her tongue out at him as she moved out of his way.

“Don’t,” he shot back.

Leia turned up her nose at him, not impressed at all. “’Sides, you’re not a boy, you’re just a stinky brother.”

“Uh-uh, girls are the stinky ones,” he muttered, sticking his own tongue out.

“You take that back!”

“Don’t have to.”

Anakin cleared his throat then and they looked over at him, recognizing the way he did it. It was exactly like Papa-Wan when he wasn’t in the mood for tomfoolery. “Luke. Leia. The both of you will behave yourselves or I will have to take you out of the room. Papa-Wan isn’t up to all of this excitement.”

“Sorry, Papa-Wan,” Luke was the first to say it, smiling as Leia glared at him.

“I’m more sorry,” Leia was quick to say, smiling sweetly at him.

“Children,” Anakin warned, recognizing the look on their faces. If this was going to turn into another match between his children, he’d just as soon avoid it. Obi-Wan didn’t need the added stress right now and he wasn’t as good as Padmé and Obi-Wan at dealing with it no matter how hard he tried to be calm. He always found that he was biting his tongue, trying to keep a firm grip on his temper. Besides, he wanted to talk to Master Unduli, find out when he could take his mate home with him. “I’m going to find ‘Nara. Will you be okay?”

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes, “I shall be fine, Anakin. Just hand me that book and I shall read to them while we wait for you to return.”

“No,” Luke said instantly. “Tell us a story.”

“Yeah, the one ‘bout you and Papa,” Leia added.

“Oh, haven’t you heard that one enough?”

They shook their heads, eyes pleading with him. “Please. Please, Papa-Wan. It’s my favoritist story in the whole world,” Leia added.

“How can you be so cruel as to deny them, Obi-Wan?” Anakin teased, walking over to kiss his forehead, knowing better than to try anything else. While he wouldn’t mind risking the chance of getting the flu, Obi-Wan would be horrified by it.

Obi-Wan grumbled but couldn’t stop the smile that crossed his face – any more than he could halt the blush that colored it. “All right. Now, it all began…”

“Papa-Wan, it starts out once upon a time. You know that,” Luke interrupted him.

“Am I telling the story or are you?” he teasingly asked.

“You – but it still starts out once upon a time,” Luke replied, settling down on the bed as though he’d won the argument.

“Once upon a time, there was a grumpy young man who met up with a gifted young boy with eyes that could melt the hardest of hearts and a smile that touched the young man’s soul,” he began, wrapping an arm about each child as they got comfortable.

Anakin shook his head, heart beating wildly. The story never varied but every time he heard it, it took him back to those days. Those days when he was young and open hearted, when the world was before him in so many ways and there was nothing that he couldn’t do.

And while he had grown some and learned that there were things that he’d never be able to do, looking at Obi-Wan and his children, he realized that it didn’t matter at all. He had everything he needed – in that very bed.

The End.


End file.
